March 5, 2008

Le sigh

Today I received this email:

“Greetings, Catheroo! Well, hello there to you too, photo magazine to which I submitted an awesome photo!

Thanks so much for submitting to XXX Magazine. You are ever so welcome! I hope you loved what I submitted! The editors and the community have spent the last few weeks reviewing the photos and stories. I can only imagine. There were like 4,800 photos submitted. You are hard-working people! There was so much great work – it wasn’t easy. Yes, I’m sure it wasn’t easy to choose. But what I submitted was totally easy to choose. Right? Right?

You submitted:
“Cooking for Dummies” to Split-second Yes! Yes I did! And it so was split-second. In fact, it was split 1/160th of a second!

We’re sorry to inform you that your work was not chosen for publication in this issue. Excuse me. What? You’re sorry? Don’t be sorry! Just put my photo in! What’s the big deal? We know you put a lot of time and effort into it, and we appreciate it. Uhm also? That photo got over 200 yes votes and over 50 favorites. So several people liked it. Why didn’t you? Is there something wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head as a small child? Sometimes truly great photos don’t get selected because they’re not quite right for the theme, OK. Uhm. Pretty sure this was right for the theme. or don’t quite fit in the magazine’s limited pages. So put it on the cover then! You do have to have a cover don’t you?

Please don’t be discouraged. Too late. I feel like a heaping pile of heifer dung. There’s always another theme to submit to, and we hope to see your work in the running again! So you can take my work and stomp on it with your dirt-encrusted boots? Oh, by the way, those pants make you look totally fat.

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