Are Titleists the best golf balls?
Because if I have to have a white, dimpled ball in my throat, it had better be a high-end one. Since Monday afternoon, I have been feeling like I am trying to swallow a golf ball every time I…well, swallow. Monday night and Tuesday, I had a fever and was so achy I could barely get up off the couch. Today the fever and aches are gone, but there still seems to be a golf ball trying to make its way down my esophagus. This is not fun because I like to eat and it’s hard to eat when each bite has to battle for space in my throat. The damn golf ball will NOT go down already.
It’s not the kind of sore throat that makes my voice sound hotter, like Demi Moore in her Jackie Templeton days, either. There’s a bit of a dry cough with it, and other than the golf ball sitting back there annoying me, I feel ok. My glands aren’t even swollen.
Because it hurts to eat, I must choose my food wisely. It needs to be worth the pain to eat it. I find that chocolate chip cookies work well. Ok, they hurt a little when I swallow, but they’re so good I don’t care. But even better are Firecrackers. I also think a milkshake would be nice. But Daniel Day Lewis took it.
Now that I think about it, mashed potatoes. Those would be ok, I think. Tiramisu would work. Oh, and crème brûlée. (Are those the correct accents? I pasted it in from Google.)
Definitely out are Brussels sprouts (much too golf ball-like, besides tasting like ass) and anything like vegetables, which offer nutritional value.
I think I need some macaroni and cheese.
And maybe some Maker’s Mark. That’ll erode that @#$%ing golf ball, if I drink enough of it.
Go for the Maker’s Mark and the correctly-accented crème brûlée. Yes. Do eet.
Mac and cheese soothes the soul. Go for it. With a Maker’s Mark chaser. 🙂
Bummer Dude!!
Hope you feel better soon!
BTW: Exactly what Alison said, YEP for sure!
🙂
Have you tried a vaporizer? I had the throat thing a couple of weeks ago so i slept under a sheet tent with the vaporizer next to the bed, under the sheet. It really helped. Feel better!
Titleists are very good golf balls. So are Callaways. I tend to stick to the cheaper ones since a majority of mine end up in the woods or the water! 🙂
I think I’d do some Bailey’s-nice and smooth.
I always crave chicken noodle soup when I have a golf ball in my throat.
I know, it’s so cliche.
Ugh. I hope you feel better soon.
Hope you’re feeling better now. I’m a big fan of mac & cheese when my throat hurts. It slides right down. Also, tropicana makes ice pops – those will help the golf ball feeling.