I’m back from wisconsin
and despite what everyone warned me about, my ass is fully intact. I did not freeze it off. the weather was quite cooperative, actually, and only got down to the mid- to low-30s. there was snow on the ground for my entire visit, but I did not get to see snow actually falling. the boy managed to pelt me with a snowball though, and four white-tailed deer graced us with their presence in the boy’s parents’ backyard.
meet the parents
what would possess me to go to wisconsin in december? I must be in love or something. I went to meet the boy’s family. not just mom, dad, and sister (and her husband and their 2 boys), but cousins, and aunts (one by phone) and an uncle, and more cousins, and second cousins, and of course, callie the westie. I’ll admit I was nervous at first. walking through the airport to greet his family, I kept clearing my throat, even after I explained to the boy how sarah jessica parker did the same thing before meeting dermott mulroney’s family in the family stone. but as soon as “mom,” “dad,” and sarah welcomed me with hugs, I was at immediate ease. when we left 6 days later, I almost cried at the airport. had it not been for noah, the boy’s 2-year old nephew exclaiming “seacrest out!” (that the boy taught him to say), and could have burst into tears. this way, I could claim they were tears of laughter at least.
noah is unlike any 2-year old I have ever met. he is almost always happy, and so freaking adorable. he’s amazingly smart too. he called me “cathy girl” at first, but eventually dropped my last name. he was always so happy to see his uncle matte, and by the end of our trip, I got the same reaction from him. little boo caden, at only 3 weeks old, was not quite as animated as his big brother, but it was fun to gush over his cuteness, you betchya. the baby leo designs blankets I got them were a huge hit. I may need to get one for myself.
bullshit no, that’s not what it is
my dad wanted me to tell the boy’s family that the reason cows in california are happy is because they’re not in wisconsin. I think it’s because marijuana grows wild in the fields where they graze. whatever the reason, there is one cow bull in wisconsin that is very, very happy. how do I know this, you ask? well, guess what is in this here tank. betchya can’t.
it’s full of bull “love juice.” yes, that stuff. the boy’s uncle sells prize winning bull semen. so, if you’re in the market, the boy can probably hook you up.
I suddenly got a hankerin’ for a hunk o’ cheese, so I’ll end here. I just so happen to have a cow-shaped hunk of cheddar in my fridge…part of my welcome to wisonsin basket I got for christmas from the whole clan.