run, don’t walk
American Idol auditions are TODAY
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Cow Palace
2600 Geneva Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94014
LINE UP: LINE BEGINS IN FRONT OF THE MAIN DOORS.
NO ONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO LINE UP UNTIL 6:00AM ON AUGUST 17, 2005.
WE WILL PASS OUT WRISTBANDS ON THAT DAY.
ACTUAL AUDITIONS BEGIN ON AUGUST 18.
ALL BAGS SUBJECT TO SEARCH.
EVENT IS RAIN OR SHINE.
PARKING IS FREE BUT NOT AVAILABLE UNTIL AUGUST 17.
tips from catheroo:
1. remember to disclose any previous work on pornographic Web sites. if AI authorities discover that you have posed nude in the past, you could be booted off the show. there is a silver lining though. you could become a correspondent on Entertainment Tonight, where you’ll get to sing your famous song over and over and over. or you could star in American Musical Theatre’s production of Dreamgirls.
2. if you are a guy, and Paula Abdul shows interest in you, sleep with her. you could go far, even if your singing blows. girls, this technique may also work with Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell. not sure which way Ryan Seacrest goes.
3. if you are particularly creepy looking, play up the fact that your father thinks you won’t make it far in the competition. if you’ve got a prior record of domestic abuse, all the better, just explain how much you love your illegitimate child. you will so get sympathy from the voting public.
4. if, during the course of an episode, you suck wax fruit on your song, pay off some interns. they will screw up the voting numbers that appear on the bottom of the screen so you’ll get another chance to sing the following night.
5. can’t sing? play that up. look what it did for William Hung.
good luck!