January 22, 2008

Hot for Teacher

Cath diggs Taye

Look how wrinkled his sweater is. The man can put on clothes that are wadded up on the floor, and look good. (Also he seems to be growing an American Broadcasting Company logo from the top of his head, but this does not diminish the SEX-AY one bit.) I hope he wears something wrinkled on the day I see him because I will gladly (and not at all stalkersihly) offer to take him home with me and iron his clothes.

Who am I kidding? This will never happen…my offering to provide domestic help to him. But I am going to see him. Thanks to Jeff, who (I think, as a funny joke) left a comment on my last post that although I probably could not chase Taye around Golden Gate Park on Super Bowl Sunday, he would be in my neck of the woods in the near future.

What?! Where?! When?!

The site Jeff directed me to said to check for more information soon. Well, I don’t wait so well, so I consulted my boyfriend Google, and learned that Teh Hotness is teaching jazz and hip hop workshops at a local dance studio next month. Taye Effing Diggs. Teaching a dance class in my ‘hood. My dance skillz don’t go much beyond shuffle-ball-change (although I have taken a couple of pole dancing lessons, ahem), so I maybe, just maybe will won’t be a student of Mr. Diggs (although I would totally offer to stay after school and bang…erasers).

Far be it from me to pass up an opportunity to see celebrities live and in person. Once upon a time I bought tickets to watch Brandon Walsh, Chandler Bing, and Uncle Joey play hockey, and I don’t even really like hockey. (BTW, I didn’t go to see Uncle Joey, it was all about Matthew Perry back then.) Anyway, the dance studio is offering “observation-only” ticket for the classes, so I am going. Seriously. I am going to pay money to see the man responsible for reinstating Stella’s groove exhibit his talents. The more I think about those swiveling hips, the more I want to be his padawan. But then I remember that people are paying to watch this class, and although nearly all eyes will be on the instructor, people will see me make a complete ass of myself. Not to mention the fabulous impression I would make on #1 on my Laminated List of 5.

When I called to reserve my spot, I asked about the camera policy (to exercise my new zoom lens). The woman on the phone said that she hadn’t clarified that with him yet, but she was trying to get cameras allowed. She added, “And if they are allowed, you can bet I’ll be the first one whipping mine out! I get to pick him up at the airport! I sure hope we don’t get lost on the way back, after picking him up.” She was positively giddy. I told her to have my number handy should they encounter any car trouble. I’m somewhat of a Good Samaritan like that. Always willing to help my fellow man. Especially when my fellow man is smokin’ hawt.*

*Also, Taye’s wife, Idina Menzel, is positively adorable. I was fortunate enough to see Wicked in San Francisco before it went to Broadway, and Idina’s Tony Award-winning performance took my breath away. She is fantastic. So…if she’s there, a threesome wouldn’t totally be out of the question.