January 17, 2009

Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt

Sometimes when people notice that I’ve lost weight, I tell them it’s not that hard to lose weight. That’s a huge lie. It’s like when someone says, “Oh, I like that sweater,” and you reply with, “this old thing?” rather than just accept the compliment. I do this. Routinely. I diminish my successes. When alone, trying on clothes that were one too small, I think I rock and I’m proud of my hard work. But when someone wants to know how I’m doing it, what I eat, and how I look thinner, I tell them, “it’s not that hard. I don’t really miss any foods I used to eat. If I can do it, you can too. It’s easy!” Liar, liar, pants on fire!

keep reading Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt

December 20, 2008


Remember, three months ago, when I said I was ready to stop eating crap? Well, I have stopped eating crap. I no longer binge on things like Taco Works tortilla chips and salsa, chocolate, or frozen chocolate chip cookie dough. In fact, since before I started this new way of eating, there has been an unopened, untouched box of those deliciously bad little nuggets of goodness in my freezer.

I have completely changed my eating habits. I have given up soda, even diet soda. My new snacks are pomegranate seeds. I can’t remember the last time I ate fast food, or had ice cream. Sure, I allow myself a treat now and then, but today it’s in moderation. I can stop at one serving — a normal-sized serving. I eat low fat, I eat tons of fruit and veggies. I avoid sugar and don’t munch on candy. I rarely eat bread or pasta, unless the bread is whole wheat and the pasta is made from brown rice. My drink of choice is water. I drink approximately two liters of it a day. I gave up coffee, and replaced it with jasmine green tea.

I might be boring now to some. I don’t dine out much, unless I can get something reasonably healthy. That means I never go to my favorite Mexican restaurant anymore. I don’t really miss it though. I bring my lunch to work, and make all my own food. I avoid the processed junk that’s filled with sodium and words I cannot even pronounce.

Social situations and holidays freak me out a little, but in a good way. I am even more stubborn about my food when I am surrounded by the most temptation. I went on a cruise to Mexico and blew it big time, eating dessert at every dinner, drinking to my heart’s content, and ignoring my new ways of eating. Consequently, I gained weight and felt like crap when I got back home, just before Thanksgiving. I thought my plans were doomed, gaining weight before Thanksgiving? Instead of resorting to my old ways during the week of Thanksgiving, I lost the weight I gained on the cruise. Eating well just makes me feel better, inside and out.

Oh, and I’ve lost 15 pounds too.


What started me on this path was when I saw photos of myself from my 40th birthday party. I could not believe how far I’d “let myself go.” I didn’t think I looked like that person in the photos. I didn’t think that was the person I was projecting to people physically. Nevermind the fact that none of my clothes were fitting correctly and I would opt for workout wear whenever I could. I hated getting ready for work everyday. I hated shopping for new clothes, not because they didn’t fit right, but because I would have to buy a size I didn’t want to admit I was. So I squeezed into my clothes from thinner days and looked and felt like a sausage in denim casing.

Before you start thinking I’m a food Nazi now, I’m not. I do enjoy my old vices, but I don’t eat five times the serving size. I know that depriving myself will only lead to failure, but I also know that certain foods will trigger overeating and I could put myself in a downward spiral if I lose focus. I’ve learned how to stop eating mindlessly. Food is fuel, not a hobby or a habit.

I know at any moment I could return to my old ways. I’m still kind of new at this, but when I can fit into pants that have been hanging in the closet, waiting for me to wear them again, I can see how far I’ve come. I still have clothes I want to wear again soon, and I still have some pounds to lose. But I’m on the right track and am focused on my goals. Overcoming a bad relationship with food is like an alcoholic getting sober. At least I think so. I can’t speak from experience as an alcoholic, but like any bad habit, changing how I eat has been difficult. Most times I like it. Sometimes I hate it. It’s time consuming to make all your own food. It’s expensive to opt for organic produce. People have tried to sabotage my efforts, including my “diet buddy” who, not being successful, wants to bring me down with her. It’s hard to say no. But I’m learning.

September 20, 2008

Learning to say no. Again.

ad·dic·tion (É™-dÄ­k’shÉ™n) n. Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a problem with food. I have an insatiable sweet tooth. I grew up on Cookie Crisp, Trix, Apple Jacks and Fruit Loops and normally ate two bowls full every morning. Dessert was a regular part of the dinner ritual. My school lunches always had cookies, or Snack Pack puddings. I didn’t like to eat fruit and only ate it when I had to. The same with vegetables. If I ate toast, I’d load it with butter and sprinkle a mix of sugar and cinnamon on top. I loved ice cream sundaes and would fill the bowl with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. I once had a babysitter who taught me to jazz up Oreo cookies by squirting Redi-Whip on them. Yum! When I was old enough to go to a school where I could buy what I wanted, I opted for peanut chews and chocolate shakes as my lunch. Even now, if I were to see a peanut chew, I would have trouble not taking a bite, or possibly eating the whole thing.

I grew up chubby and inactive. I thought I was ugly and fat. But rather than make changes to my bad habits, I took solace in more food.

keep reading Learning to say no. Again.

April 3, 2008


Here, have some kiwi.
30 Tiny Moments #2: Key-whee!

March 27, 2008

Tasty balls.

Chili Meatballs

You want to make this recipe. You do. Unless you are a vegetarian. And if you don’t eat red meat, you can use ground turkey. I suppose.

  • 1/4 lb 96% lean ground beef
  • 2 Tbsp brown rice – I recommend the Trader Joe’s brown rice. It microwaves in three minutes. Awesome.
  • 1/4 tsp dried parsley
  • 1/4 tsp Italian seasoning
  • 1/4 tsp fennel seeds
  • 1/8 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/8 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 1/8 tsp minced onion
  • Pinch salt
  • Pinch pepper
  • 2 1/2 Tbsp chili sauce
  • 1/8 tsp hot pepper sauce, or more to taste

This is the recipe for one serving. But even if you are dining solo, you should make enough for 2 servings. You will want it for lunch tomorrow. If there are two in your party, make enough for four. I’m serious. And bossy.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F, please. (I may be bossy, but I am also polite.)

In a medium bowl, combine beef, brown rice, dried parsley, Italian seasoning, fennel seeds, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, dried minced onion, salt, and pepper.

Mix well with clean hands or a fork. With a cookie scoop, or a spoon and your hands, form the beef mixture into 8 1-inch meatballs. Place meatballs in a single layer on a small nonstick baking sheet. Bake about 7 minutes, or until meatballs are just barely pink inside. Transfer to medium bowl.

In a small bowl, combine chili sauce and hot pepper sauce. Pour sauce over meatballs, and toss to coat. Serve immediately.

This recipe is from a Biggest Loser Couples Weight Loss Planner from Prevention Magazine. It’s got 206 calories, 23 grams of protein, 17 rams of carbs, 5 grams of fat (2 of them saturated), 60 mg cholesterol, <1 g fiber, 678 mg sodium.

March 14, 2008


Once upon a time, my friend Beth sent out a note about her upcoming 30th birthday celebration. She closed the note with “you’re all great fiends” or some similar sentiment. And yes, she left the ‘r’ out of friends.

It stuck. Ever since that note, my circle of friends has been known as Fiends. When our fiend Julie passed away, we started a Yahoo! group to keep in touch and email daily doses of support to everyone in the group. It was a perfect way to keep in touch, especially with those that were far away. Those first few months after Julie’s passing were difficult for us all, but having the support of each other got us through it. Slowly.

Life has been moving very fast for the Fiends lately and we don’t spend as much time together as we once did. It’s hard to get us all in the same place at the same time. But we’re still close and would drop anything to help one of us in need.

Tonight I got to spend time with 2 fiends, Tracey and June. We have all had some stress in our lives lately and it was good to just be together and talk about things, catching up with what’s been going on in each other’s lives. Tonight we didn’t want the loud “nn-tch nn-tch nn-tch” music of a bar, or to get all dressed up to go somewhere fancy. We just wanted to be. So we went to an old skool type place, that caters to a more mature crowd (the Blue Hairs, if you will).

Because I had already eaten a dinner of stir-fried chicken, asparagus and brown rice, I forwent (is that the past tense of forgo?) the meal and went along for the company, my camera in tow. I still had to shoot my last submission for the 7 Days group in Flickr. While they dined on the fine cuisine (note sarcasm), I had a glass of Cabernet. And because this was a night where comfort food was much in need, the girls ordered hot fudge sundaes. I still nursed my wine, and rather than knocking them over the head with the jar of sugar and stealing their sundaes, I shot a photo of one instead. Much fewer calories that way. The best part of the night though, was when we were discussing our trails and tribulations, the song that our beloved fiend Julie asked to be played at her funeral (Green Day’s Good Riddance/Time of Your Life) came on over the sound system. For some reason, that song comes on at the most appropriate times. And since we all became such close fiends because Julie brought us together, it was perfect that the song played tonight. It was like a little “Hey” from Julie. Interesting that I haven’t heard that song in awhile, nor had I spent quality time with my fiends in much too long.

Below is a photo of the delectable hot fudge sundae that I did not eat (nor did I taste! How’s that for will power?).


And this here is my last self-portrait of the week. Next go round, you should play with us. Click on the link to in my sidebar to join the 7 Days group. You’ll be glad you did!

7 Days: Day 7

March 11, 2008

Master of the obvious

I came across this today while signing up for…erm…Weight Watchers. I’m going to be old this year and hell if I’m starting my oldest year yet being a unable to fit into the majority of the clothes in my closet.

But really, is this necessary? Really?

I could use y’all’s support on my journey, so pardon me if this blog becomes a semi-journal of eating habits. Don’t worry, I’ll try to throw in a few cat stories here and there to make it extra entertaining!

Also, Team In Training has suggested that I mentor some runners next season, and how can I do that when I have to lug around all this junk in my trunk? I’m supposed to motivate people! But I guess it would be motivating to be able to run faster than one’s mentor. So maybe I should keep this extra cushion around me.

Nah. I’d rather be hawt, and kick my mentees’ butts all over the place.

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