April 9, 2008

Home Un-improvement

When I left to go to work this morning, my kitchen looked like this:

kitchen before

When I came home from work, it looked like this:

kitchen after

I hate it.

See in the “before” photo how there are some nice, wide drawers to the right of the stove? Well, since they moved the stove to the right, I lost those drawers. I did gain a cookie sheet cabinet, but, uhm, where should I put my nice, large flatware tray now? The awesome one that holds every single piece of flatware we have? Maybe on top of the counter. Yeah. Or I could put the forks in the top drawer, the knives below that and the spoons in the second to the bottom drawer. Oh, and where shall I put my multiple sets of Ikea-made Rubbermaid/Tupperware wannabes? I guess I’ll leave them out on the counter too because they will no longer fit in the bottom drawer. Oh, and my cutting boards, and placemats need a new home too. Maybe those can sit on top of the litterbox. It’s the right size.

Also, in the before photo, we kept our drinking glasses and pilsners to the right of the microwave and our mugs (many, many mugs) to the left. Now? Well, we shall jam all of them into one small space. And the weight of all that glass and plaster shall bring the cabinet toppling down on top of me one Sunday morning when I make my Earl Grey tea. So awesome.

These ADA improvements they made today are idiotic. OK. The changes were necessary, not idiotic. But why not wait until we vacate the apartment? We do not require ADA upgrades. We are fine with things as they are. Wouldn’t it be easier to do this work in empty apartments? So as to not disrupt the tenants? And not force me to store my silverware in my underwear drawer? I’m just saying.

Our stuff fits used to fit fine in the kitchen. Now we have this kitchen where my stuff doesn’t fit, along with new toilets (in the bathroom, not the kitchen, duh) that make my butt feel huge. We used to have these oblong-ish shaped ones that were quite comfy, but they replaced the one in my bathroom with a smaller, round-seated one for someone with 24-inch hips. Seriously. It’s a Barbie toilet. Although, my feet do reach the floor when I sit now, so that’s nice. Except the seat is so low, I need one of those grabber things to reach the toilet paper.

Must they disrupt our living space like this when we are still living in it? Really?

I used to whine about the lack of counter space in our kitchen. Now I can whine about the lack of drawer and cabinet space too! Oh, and my fat butt.

We need a house. That’s all there is too it. A house with vast counter space, caverns of storage, and toilets with seats as big as swimming pools. So I can feel like my butt is small.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go stare at my nice cookie sheet storage now and play with my 12 butter knives.

13 people have roominated about “Home Un-improvement”

  • Sarah says:

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to do some dumbfounded staring. Do disabled people not require storage space that makes sense? Do they (we) need special cupboards and drawers into which nothing fits?


  • Sarah says:

    On showing my parents the photos:

    Dad: What’s it for?
    Me: It’s about some disability act…
    Dad: So they disabled the kitchen?

  • Alison says:

    That’s a big WTF. But I’m laughing at what Sarah’s dad said!

    Hope you can find a house, hon.

  • Mere says:

    “We need a house” is like foreplay for a realtor! I know things are a bit more expensive down there – but if you do want a house, call a lender. There are FHA programs where you do not have to have a huge down. I just got a 3 bed, 2 bath, 2 car garage townhouse for a gf for $370K. It is so cute I wanted to buy it, too.

  • sizzle says:

    I must not be awake because I kept looking back and forth at the photos and couldn’t see what had changed. Thank goodness you explained it. I’m such a dolt! 🙂

  • Sandi says:

    I’m with Sizzle. At first I thought this was one of those things they have in People magazine – Find the 6 Different Things in These Pictures! How this helps people with disabilities is beyond me. And why they couldn’t wait until you left is sheer idiocy.

    By the way, my daughter knows a good realtor. I’m just sayin’.

  • mcgee says:

    ohmygod i’m stupid. no really. i stared at both photos for 5 minutes before i read your post thinking to myself, “hmmm…what’s different except for the dishtowel hanging from the stove?”

    hahahaha. forgive me. please still be friends with me.

    also? “and toilets with seats as big as swimming pools. So I can feel like my butt is small.”

    i love you for that.

  • Annie says:

    And this makes it easier for the disabled How???

  • Laurel says:

    How does this change help an ADA individual? It looks like the new set up is stupid for all!

  • Jeff's Place says:

    If it was really ADA then they would have lowered the cabinets, right???
    Did they really need to move the stove over 12 inches?

    I would be SO BENT over something like this!!

    Good luck with getting used to the new set-up.

  • Mandy Lou says:

    Going to have to put on my Kitchen Designer hat here – I hate to say this but I don’t see how this is ADA compliant. With the exception of moving the stove away from the counter (so – not you – could wheel up to the stove easily), it doesn’t look like any of the changes I would have made were done. And don’t even get me started on the doors being hinged the wrong direction.

    On the bright side at least they got it done in one day, so you weren’t too disrupted. Also try putting your cutting boards in the cookie sheet cabinet, your extensive chopstick collection can go into the drawers…

  • tinarina says:

    i’m with mandy lou. there’s nothing ADA compliant about this. it can’t really even be considered ‘adaptable’ which is what i imagine they were going for. very frustrating.

    here’s a funny little story about drawers, to make you feel better. my husband and i recently bought a condo. you can imagine that we were there a number of times before we bought it. however, it took until after we moved in for us to realize…NO DRAWERS!! none. a kitchen without drawers. we just stood there dumbfounded (mostly with ourselves for not noticing). then we went to ikea and bought some drawers. 🙂

  • kathy says:

    oh. i am sad for you. this truly sucks.

roominate on this yourself