March 23, 2008

Top 10+ reasons to use your turn signal

One of my biggest pet peeves when driving is seeing people who change lanes, turn into a driveway or slow down to turn without using their turn signal. Matte hates it more than I do, so should you encounter either of us on the road, here are reasons why you should use your signal and avoid pissing us off:

<begin rant>:

  • From the California Department of Motor Vehicles, this is how you change lanes: “Before changing lanes, signal, look in all your mirrors, and…”
  • Only buttfaces don’t use their turn signal. And I know you’re not a buttface.
  • Why else is there a turn signal in your car if not for you to use it?
  • Using your signal is good carma. (See what I did there?)
  • Because all the cool kids are doing it.
  • It burns one thousand calories (probably it really does, over your lifetime).
  • It doesn’t make your ass look big or give you double chins.
  • It adds years to your life because people won’t crash into you.
  • It’s the courteous thing to do and Mr. Rogers taught us to always be courteous. Also courtesy is contagious so if you use your signal, soon, everyone else will too.
  • If you don’t, and you’re driving in Los Angeles, someone might shoot you.
  • Barack Obama likes it when you use your turn signal.
  • It narrowly missed being included on the list of new sins recently put out by the Vatican. BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON THERE!
  • Keyser Söze, Hannibal Lecter and Dexter will come and get you if you don’t.
  • If you don’t signal, the terrorists win.
  • Real men use their turn signals (and real women do too).
  • 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed recommend using your turn signal.
  • Safety. For you and your passengers and for every other driver you meet on the road.
  • Because you don’t want this to happen to you. (Note: language NSFW unless you work in a mafia office.)

</end rant>

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