March 4, 2008

Happy National Grammar Day*

In honor of National Grammar Day, I thought I’d share with you some of my biggest pet peeves regarding grammar. I realize these sound accusatory like I’m scolding you (yes you) for committing these heinous grammatical crimes, but these are directed toward no one in particular. I’m just venting. Here they are in no particular order (despite the numbers on the list):

  1. Please, please, spell definitely correctly. It is not definAtely. Spell it right. With an i.
  2. It’s is the conjunction of it is. Its (with no apostrophe) is the possessive of it. Also, other pronouns have possessives. It’s yours (not your’s), ours (not our’s), hers (not her’s) and his (not hi’s).
  3. There is a book on the table. Not their is a book on the table or they’re is a book on the table. Their is possessive. They’re is the conjunction of they are. If a book belongs to more than one person it is said to be their book. There is their book that they’re very proud of. Got it?
  4. Your is possessive. (Damn, these possessives give people all sorts of trouble.) You’re is the joining of you and are. You’re being incorrect in your grammar use when you use your instead of you’re.
  5. Now this one is tricky. I don’t know why the rule is this way, but it’s by accident and on purpose. It is not on accident. (Funny, I never hear anyone say, “I did it by purpose.”) Example: I smashed into the ASS UV by accident. I didn’t do it on purpose. I understand the confusion here because why is on OK for purpose, but not OK for accident. I’ll tell you why. Because. That’s why.
  6. This last one is not so much a grammar peeve, but a peeve in general. If you sign your emails with BRGDS, it does not at all convey the same sentiment as if you sign it Best regards. Because, you most definItely are not conveying your best regards if you can’t even take the extra keystrokes to type out the entire TWO WORDS. Do not shorten it to BRGDS. For all I know you could be signing it Bitchy Ridiculously Gassy Dip Shit.

This concludes my rant on grammar for the day. Until late this morning I didn’t know today was even a “holiday.” But had I known, I would have stood on the street corner holding a large piece of cardboard with grammar lessons such as the ones listed here. Maybe I could have made some extra dough.

*Today will also be forever remembered as the day that Brett Favre announced his retirement from the Green Bay Packers. Which, by the way, I would not have cared about before I met my husband. But because I married into a Packer family, today I’m sad.

9 people have roominated about “Happy National Grammar Day*”

  • Dagny says:

    Very nice list. I dealt with the majority of your list when I taught English. My real peeve though is people use “as” to form a comparative and then use the wrong pronoun case with it. Complete the sentence in your head and you’ll get it right! It is not “She is as me.” It’s “She is as I.” That’s right. The subjective case and not the objective. If you actually were to complete the thought it would be “She is as I am.” See how the objective case does not make any sense?

    I used to tell my students that it is acceptable to break the rules of grammar but it must be a knowing choice; it must serve a purpose. Many of the great authors and poets have done precisely this.

    Although I am tempted to continue with the use of the alleged word “conversate,” I am going to step down from the soapbox at this time.

  • Sarah says:

    Aah, how lovely to have a day of grammar. I missed it, but it’s still lovely.

  • mil says:

    I definately agree that their are too many grammar errors. Its a pet peeve with me and your right to bring it to are attention.(Noticed that last little error on a sign yesterday on tv–Are Hero, Brett Favre) But it probably was on accident.
    Thanks for acknowledging our grief. From the coverage yesterday you would have thought the Pope and the President had both died.

  • Sandi says:

    Grammar errors go up my spine like nails on a blackboard! Little things like using “whenever” instead of “when”. Irregardless!! Using “less” when it should be “fewer”. I had a really obnoxious English teacher in junior high – she made me the grammar bitch I am today!

  • Alison says:

    You know I love you.

    This is spelling, not grammar, but I just saw it on a widely-read website: it peaked our curiosity.

    Um, no. It piqued it.

    *pokes eyes out with wooden chopsticks*

  • Cindy says:

    I think we should get rid of “by accident” altogether. We should use “accidentally.”

  • […] – every  time I think I have you figured out I find that I’m still doing it wrong. Don’t worry Cath, I still like you. It is grammar has earned my scorn and derision […]

  • Green says:

    Please review how to write things like “James’s party (James’ party?), when to write Plaintiff’s instead of Plaintiffs’, and when it is appropriate to write its’.

    Thank you. You’re the best, so best regards,

  • Lara says:

    Oh my gosh, YES!!!! The “BRGRDS” thing drives me absolutely batty. Same with “TKS”. (yes, I can see you are very thankful, since you couldn’t be bothered to type out the looooong word “thanks”). A to the men, sister.

roominate on this yourself