December 14, 2007

I know there’s something going on

This morning, while piddling about the apartment, procrastinating getting ready for work, I noticed something on the patio. It was a power cable for a laptop. And it was plugged in to the power outlet. Now, this isn’t a terribly extraordinary find, say, in August, when Matte likes to work outside, but it’s been around 40 degrees here lately, and unless Matte has Eskimo tendencies I’m not aware of, it’s too cold for him to spend any length of time writing code on the patio. Also, this power cable was for an HP and we are a Dell/Apple family.

This can mean only one thing. Well, two things. 1) someone who is not us was using our power, and 2) someone who is not us was on our patio. Our property. Where we live, sitting on our patio furniture.

Granted, they were not in our apartment, but still. It creeps me out. They have intruded on our space. Invaded our haven. I want to call Grissom to come and run a fingerprint check on the frozen cable. Ooh, better yet: Warrick. Yeah. And I would bake him cookies and just stare at his face, because those eyes. (THUD) He’s like over a foot taller than I am, so I’d have to stand on one of the violated Ikea chairs in order to be hypnotized by his eyes, and said chair would probably fold within itself under my weight and I’d come crashing to the concrete. But he would save me, catching me in his big, strong arms. Oh, and what if he needed to make sure i wasn’t trying to frame someone? That I created the crime scene? He might need my DNA. I’d be more than happy to open wide for Warrick Brown. So he could swab my cheek, I mean. And then, when he realized I had no part in creating this scene, he’d feel terrible for doubting my innocence. So we would make out.*

Uhm…so yeah. Where was I?

Oh. Yeah. SOMEONE WAS ON OUR PATIO STEALING OUR ELECTRICITY! Do not step one foot on our (rented) property without an invitation. Our abode is not your Internet cafe. There is a Starbucks just down the street, in any direction you look. Oh, and guess what, Mr. Space Invader! I took your cable from the patio, so now you are powerless. Literally. How do you like that, Assface?

*In a purely hypothetical world, of course. Love ya, Matte!

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