November 7, 2007

Oui got a wee. I mean, whee got a we. Oh…whatever

Matte and I got a Nintendo Wii last week, and ever since, he is kicking my ass all over the living room playing tennis. I always considered myself a coordinated person until we got this little white box with the wireless controllers. I canNOT for the life of me beat these computerized people on the other side of the court. And if I decide to clone myself and play both players on my doubles team, I flail about and miss nearly every ball. Because, hello! I am ONE person. I can’t be two places at once. But Matte can, and now he has reached PRO status while I remain in the ranks of spastic, haphazard players who appear to be swatting at a swarm of bees.

Oh goodie! Another thing he is better than me at. (Wow. Check out that grammar!)

I am better at refraining from the Wii playing than Matte is. Which might also be to blame for my poor performance. Or is it the other way around? Do I not partake of the Wii as often as Matte does because of the extreme suckage I display? Or mayhaps it is my tennis elbow keeping me away? I think I should at least win “Most likely to look like a person really playing tennis” or something because I hit that ball SO hard (although it lobs every time). And I use my backhand when necessary, which I guess is not really necessary with the smart remote, but makes me feel so much cooler when I do it. Especially when I use two hands. Sometimes an involuntary Monica Seles-esque grunt will emit from my throat. And I even yell at the judge’s calls like John McEnroe used to. Matte just nonchalantly flicks his wrist this way and that and wins match after match, as I lay on the couch, post-match, huffing and puffing, wiping my brow with a towel and drinking Gatorade.

Oh, and my Mii (the animated character I created as me in Wii land) is so much cuter than Matte’s. She has freckles and braids, and a vacant look in her eyes like she doesn’t know what her name is. But his has devil horns. They’re actually eyebrows that he nudged up his forehead until they reached the top of his head. And he has a goatee. He looks like a satanic Backstreet Boy.

But if Nintendo comes out with a game where you clean the house? I could obliterate Matte at that one. Not that he doesn’t clean. He does. But he’s the first to admit that I clean better, faster, and more thoroughly than he does. (I have been known to dust the swords belonging to the action figures.) I just hope he never opens that one closet where I’ve hidden everything.

5 people have roominated about “Oui got a wee. I mean, whee got a we. Oh…whatever”

  • Sarah says:

    Wiis are wonderful – and it seems that girls are destined to throw themselves around the room while playing, while boys stand there barely moving. This is because girls are great and boys are silly.
    By the way, do the training on bowling – it really does improve your game.

  • wi says:

    Will you please bring the Wii home to Wi for Christmas? Will it fit in your suitcase? You don’t really need all those clothes, do you? One or two outfits should do. We have a washer and dryer. Heh, heh.

  • mcgee says:

    i am so enamored of this whole wii idea and am desperate to try it, yet scared that i’ll get sucked in and never go back to work again. decisions decisions.

  • For corn’s sake, I’m still playing my Atari Pong game!

  • Alison says:

    I’ve never tried the Wii, but Wednesday night’s episode of South Park made me want to try Guitar Hero.

roominate on this yourself