July 7, 2007

Texting from the Social Security Administration while waiting to change my last name

Yesterday I took a trip downtown to take the first step in changing my last name, a visit to the Social Security office. Once my Social Security card says my new name, I can update my records at work, change my driver’s license information, and get the bank updated. Then I can change my credit cards, memberships, and who knows what else.

I figured the place would be deserted with so many people on family vacations for the 4th plus it was a Friday and most offices are slow on a Friday. I got there right when they opened though, just to be safe. But first, I had to have my purse and body scanned, and find the restroom. I walked into the office at just before 9:10, and saw about 8 people waiting. Not too bad. I walked to the kiosk and grabbed a number in the ‘C’ group. People in the C group had quickies. The C people only needed to change information on their Social Security card, like a name, for instance. Piece of cake, right?

Nope. Thankfully I had my Crackberry with me so I could read my Gmail, blogs, and text my husband.

9:09 am How am I number C300 when they are now serving #C397?
9:21 am Someone is clipping their nails in the Social Security office waiting room! Gross!
9: 32 am Well, there WERE 2 windows open. Now there is just 1. Sigh. I guess 20 minutes of work is enough for a break.
9:58 am Now they are not calling numbers in order, fuckers.
10:01 am I am about to give up.
10:04 am It is a waste of time. There are about 50 people waiting now and ONE window open.
10:08 am They have 7 windows closed.
10:13 am The lady next to me keeps nodding off and her head is hitting my shoulder.
10:21 am Standing room only now. Gotdamn lazy ass government.
10:23 am I’d better get an iPhone when I reach the window for this wait.
10:35 am We are up to three open windows now. But they are still skipping all numbers that start with C. Only calling As and Bs. This is moronic.
10:46 am My turn!
10:59 am I’m officially an E……!

The entire transaction took less than 10 minutes. The clerk was very nice and not grumpy, considering all the grumps he had to help before me. He said my new card (with four names) would arrive in a couple of weeks. But this time, when I sign my card, I will not have a pen of brown ink that smells like chocolate, like I did when I was 12. If my new last name had an i though, I would be so tempted to dot it with a heart.

Next up, the Department of Motor Vehicles! Does the fun ever stop?

5 people have roominated about “Texting from the Social Security Administration while waiting to change my last name”

  • Rachel says:

    It’s been two years and I’m still changing my name with different companies, etc. I should have told you to come to the Soc Sec office near our house…I just walked right up to the window. Make sure you get your new Soc Sec card before heading to the DMV. Have fun Mrs. E****. 🙂

  • Michele says:

    You waited less than two hours? Did you buy a lottery ticket after leaving because it must have been your lucky day. Oh, and I am so impressed, my inner-dialogue would have included many more curse words than yours.

    I love this post.

    I have three different names that I could use, allowing me to be either diagnosed with multiple personality disorder or to be accused of being a Prince/The Symbol/Prince follower.

  • You better be sure your new card is legal if it only took a short time to process. I have big plans to go to Social Security soon, too. To start collecting my retirement checks!! Yeah!!

  • Green says:

    Where do you live? I should go for you. I’ve heard people talk about hating places like this, the long lines, etc.

    I never wait. I mean, okay, let’s not all smoke crack, obviously I wait. But never a long time. Seriously, I have never waited at a DMV longer than 10 minutes. Some kind of luck surrounds me for stuff like that.

    Congrats on your new name!

  • […] change my last name, I took a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles. And I learned my lesson the last time, when I went to the Social Security Administration Office to get my new card. This time, I had an […]

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