April 16, 2007

Ah, memories

This afternoon I had to visit one of our customers. This customer happens to be the same company where an ex-boyfriend of mine worked. Actually, I think he still works for the company, but at a different location.

Driving through the campus evoked memories I had long since repressed.

Ex was from Texas. Actually, he was from New Mexico near the Texas border, and he graduated from a Texas college. Ex had a smooth drawl that I found charming. I found other things about him to be charming as well. On our first date, he played a song on his guitar and sang to me. SANG to me. The song was “Livin’ on Love” by Alan Jackson. (Did I mention Ex loved country music? He did. Very much.) I thought it was so sweet that he sang those sweet lyrics to me. Some friends mocked him for that (and later, once he reached ex status, I did my share of mocking as well).

Ex was an engineer. A “smarty.” He worked a lot and took his job quite seriously. He traveled to Asia a lot too, for work. He would always call me just as I was waking up, to tell me he missed me. Ex also brought me gifts from the Orient, and sometimes from Paris. Jade bracelets. Silk things.

Even when he was swamped with work, he always made time for the most important thing in his life. He was so dedicated to, and nearly obsessed…with golf. Every morning he would get up at the crack of ass to drive over the hill to Santa Cruz and play a round before work. He even got me interested in the sport, and I went with him to play once (not at 5 am). I also made some trips to the driving range with him. I was surprised to find that I enjoyed golf. (And I still do like to watch it sometimes.) Oh, and apparently, I have a perfect swing, naturally. I’ll be sure to put that on my resume.

Ex even opened me up to country music, something I previously hated. I enjoyed the music, but no way would I ever sport the 10-gallon hat or gargantuan silver belt buckle that showed his college pride, and glistened over his Wranglers. The first time he showed up in that getup, I thought he was playing a joke on me. I said “nice hat!” and he said, “really? I can get you one!” Uhm. Nah. That’s ok. Really.

The Ex’s favorite restaurant was anyplace you could drive up to and order a bagfull of dinner. One time, he said we could go somewhere nice. And I said “what constitutes nice?” and he said, “plates!” We went to Chili’s. I think I got a burger, and it was served in a basket. So I got to go to a second nice place: Tony Roma’s. His dining establishment of choice was Carl’s Jr. and his usual order went like this: “Go BIG on a Western Combo, substitute the fries for onion rings, and extra sauce. Diet Coke to drink.”

Damn, did he drink a lot of Diet Coke.

At some point during our courtship, he got “really busy at work” and had to cancel a couple of our dates. I had planned a trip to someplace with some great golf course for his birthday, but it was really hard to get him to confirm a date that would work.

And then he stood me up one night.

I called his house, and his roommate said he must still be at work. I called his office. No answer.

And then I remembered that sometimes at like 3 am, his pager would go off. He always said it was the China office. Oh, OK. Wow, he must be important.

And then I remembered that he had recently told me he brought an intern home with him for lunch one day. He mentioned that she was a sweet tiny girl from China. He wanted to show her pictures of his trips to Taiwan.

Or something.

He didn’t call the next day to apologize for forgetting our date. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

A few days later, I was on the phone with a friend. Someone was beeping in on my other line. My friend, knowing I had been stood up, and had not heard from Ex in a while, told me to see who was on the other line and come back and tell her if it was him.

It was him. I clicked over and my friend told me “take it, and CALL ME BACK!” She also said to “stay strong.”

I was ready. I was livid. I wanted to tell him to shove his 9-iron where the sun don’t shine. Unless he was in traction. Then, and only then, it would be OK to have stood me up.

The Ex was calling on a speaker phone. He was still at work, in a conference room at the office, busy, busy, BUSY engineer that he was.

From a speaker phone, in a conference room named after a movie star, the Ex broke up with me.

I didn’t cry. I was fine. I wasn’t mad. I was a bit relieved, even. I felt rejected though, even though I was about to reject him.

I still had some of his stuff. A cheap suit from JC Penney he had worn to some corporate event we attended. Or a wedding, I don’t remember. He asked if it would be ok if I just mailed it to him. I told him it would be no problem.

He was seeing someone else (I found out later). The intern. Yeah. But the worst part? She WASN’T EVEN CUTE. Have you ever been dumped by someone who left you for someone who IS NOT EVEN CUTE? (I know there are more important qualities in a person, but at my young age, all I could think about was how not-cute the girl was that he left me for.)

I sent the Ex his suit. I crumpled it into a blob and shoved it into the smallest FedEx box I could find. The I took it out of the box and rubbed it all over Jasper. I sent him the cat hair-covered suit to him at work, since he was there so much.

A short while later, he moved to an Asian country and eventually married a woman from there. She is very pretty. A friend showed me a picture from their wedding.

I wondered if they had nice golf courses in Singapore.

Or Carl’s Jr.

8 people have roominated about “Ah, memories”

  • wi says:

    i just love your writing. you always paint such vivid pictures and give me new insight into my future dil.
    did he chew gum? you can get arrested in singapore for chewing gum. hmmmm.
    remind me to tell you sometime about the guy from ripon(no, not harry) that sang to me while we danced. very romantic. i think he went on to sell insurance.:)

  • music_mama says:

    nice touch on the fed ex.

  • Alison says:

    Sorry, that was a really boring comment. I really did enjoy reading it! Your descriptions are great.

  • Sandi says:

    It’s always interesting when a relationship breaks up how those things that seemed so nice at the time suddenly become “oh, for god’s sakes”. Having met Matte, I think you should write to the ex and say THANK YOU for breaking up!! Look at the favor he did for you!

  • (e) says:

    well I, for one, thank him profusely!

  • Steph says:

    I whole-heartedly agree with Sandi — you’ve got yourself a keeper! ;o)

  • Carmi says:

    I believe we all have to have experiences like this to prepare ourselves for The One. Sandi’s totally on the ball in this regard.

    Did I say how much I enjoy your blog? Every time I come back, I leave with a smile. Thanks!

roominate on this yourself