April 4, 2006

Anyone know how to start a national holiday?

Because I think the day after “Spring Forward” needs one.

Did anyone get up on time Monday? I didn’t. I was completely disoriented when the alarm went off at o’dark thirty. And then, last night, I was up until the wee hours of today.

I hereby recommend that the U.S. implement Daylight Savings Time as a holiday. This would be a holiday that even Lou Dobbs would like; he wants us to celebrate our similarities, not our differences, doesn’t he? And we’re all in the daylight-savings time mess together. Well, except for Arizona. But they like to be difficult where national holidays are concerned and don’t observe Martin Luther King Day either. So, let’s just not tell them about this one.

Think of the marketing possibilities!

T-shirts, buttons, and statics for your car
“Frankie Say: Set your clocks!” (I just dated myself there, didn’t I?)
“I heart DST”
“Hate DST? Move to AZ”
“WWJD? He’d change his clocks, the first Sunday of April. Amen.”

Celebrity recorded phone messages
Simon Cowell:
“If I’m being honest, this changing clocks is absolutely horrendous. It’s completely atrocious and utterly abominable.”

Donald Trump:
“This time change is yoooge. But not as yoooge as my success. Don’t forget to change your clocks, or you’re fired.”

Martha Stewart:
“Changing your clocks before bed tonight is a Good Thing. My former bitches cellmates in prison wish they had a clock to change. Let me teach you how to make your own clock. First…”

Beavis and Butthead:
Butthead: Hey Beavis, we’re supposed to set our clocks ahead one hour tonight.
Beavis: Huh huh. You said cocks.
Butthead: No I didn’t. I said clocks, dumbass.
Beavis: OK, but you said head. Huh huh.

Tom Cruise:
“Shhh, keep it down and make no sudden movements when you change your clocks tonight. Oh, and don’t take any sleep aids. Medications don’t work.”

Nicole Ritchie and/or Lindsay Lohan:
“Oooh, we set our clocks forward tonight. That’s one less hour of starvation for us.”

Napoleon Dynamite:
“Change my clocks tonight? Maybe I will, Gosh!”

Store sales

“Daylight Savings Time means savings for you! 80% off on our entire inventory, when the clock strikes 2.” Because it won’t.

Theme parties
Like NYE, celebrate with each time zone!

Start time 1:59 a.m. End time 3:01 a.m.

So, how do we make this a reality? Petition? Letters to our state representatives? Can we just claim to our bosses it already is a holiday and skip work?

Oh, and of course with this holiday comes the complementary “Fall Behind” day off six months later. It’s imperative to our health, as we must properly adjust our eyes to the morning light.

4 people have roominated about “Anyone know how to start a national holiday?”

  • Linda says:

    Let’s add confusion to your potential holiday…everyone in Europe sprang forward a week early (darned Europeans need to be the first to do stuff sometimes, lol). Yeah…so now, instead of only being 6 hours ahead of all my family on the east coast, I had to figure SEVEN hours. Six was easy – just across the clock…seven made my head hurt. Thank GOD you guys caught up!

    Michele sent me

  • Spring Forward is a total gyp.

  • cat says:

    You = Fuh-NEE!

    Okay, and I totally want a “Hate DST? Move to AZ!” bumper sticker because I am FROM Arizona and I SOOOO do not like DST. I’m TIRED, you know? And it stays light until, like, 9:30! At night! Seriously, what is UP with that? How am I supposed to put my kids to bed early when it’s still frickin’ light as day outside? Huh? Not many farmers around here to benefit from the extra evening light, you know what I’m saying?

    (And AZ does celebrate MLK Day. Voters just wanted the opportunity to vote for the change. Just thought you should know.)

    I would totally vote for the holiday. We need to get

  • cat says:

    (OOPS, “enter” trigger finger’s a little testy today…)

    We need to get this bad boy on the ballot. For reals. I’d totally vote for it.

roominate on this yourself