catheroominations

December 14, 2005

my little man

jasperthis is my little man, jasper. see him smiling? he does that.

jasper started getting really skinny awhile back. he’s getting up there in years (13, I think), so I had him checked out at the vet, and they didn’t find anything medically wrong with him. I thought maybe he was depressed because of sibling rivalry with daphne. (do cats get depressed?) anyway, his spirit is great, he’s still cuddly and hyper and as affectionate as a dog. he even licks people.

he’s just scrawny. like nicole richie.

about a year ago, I started giving him special food to try to beef him up. but there hadn’t been much improvement, just additional weight loss.

until recently.

last night, the boy noticed that jasper’s collar was tight.

finally, my little man’s gaining some weight back. at first, I attributed his fattened neck to his diet of canned salmon and turkey, and that I must have cured his anorexia. I rule.

but really, I think having the boy around is what cured jasper.

and it saved him from near death by strangulation too.

words to live by from bob ross

bob ross
“we don’t make mistakes; we have happy accidents.”

December 13, 2005

ego massage

December 12, 2005

I’d caregive that

colincolin farrell is undergoing treatment for drug addiction. pain killers, to be exact. being the kind and generous person I am, I would like to offer him my caregiving services. I have prior experience, can cook, give back rubs, and pedicures, and I charge no fee. so if anyone knows how to reach colin, or his people, please have them contact me privately.

one thing…discretion is not my strong point, but if I am hired to help heal colin, I will only write about his recovery on my blog, and only like 3 people read it, so it’s ok.

hot piece of meat

filet mignonthis is a filet mignon from ruth’s chris steak house. it is the most succulent, tender, and delicious steak.
ever.
in the whole wide world.
dude.

I introduced matte to this fine dining establishment last night. we went there because they are featuring the buffalo rib eye and matte loves buffalo. as far as I’m concerned, they could feature the buffalo rib eye with a side of keys to a new car and a platinum tiffany necklace, and I’d still get the filet: petite size, medium rare.

a steak this good demands a fabulous wine. last night it demanded a fabulous wine that was $20 a glass. yes, twenty bucks. I didn’t care. it would have been an insult to order anything less; an insult to ruth (who long ago bought the chris steak house), to chris (who created this culinary disneyland), and to my filet.

while matte ordered the wine, I went to “freshen up” as they say. on my way to the powder room, I saw some steaks being delivered to a table of anticipating carnivores. the steaks at ruth’s chris come out sizzling. they are cooked in an 1800-degree broiler, then plated on a 500-degree dish with butter on it. complete sensory overload…the sizzle, the aroma, and the sight of that steak is…well, it’s sexy. that’s what it is.

never have I been more excited to eat a particular food.

which is why when our server came, I was good and ready to order. no appetizers, thank you. I am saving room and taste buds for the steak. like I mentioned; petite filet, medium rare, no butter please. and a side of asparagus. (jeez, I’m getting a little worked up just writing this.)

matte ordered his buffalo rib eye, medium, with the creole mustard topper and a side of sautéed mushrooms.

what is it about someone saying “the plate is extremely hot” that makes you want to touch it? as this was not my first experience with the hotter-than-hell plate, I refrained, even though my plate didn’t have the sizzling warning sign that lasts 10 minutes or so.

one of the best things about the scalding plates is that they keep your food warm for nearly your entire meal. my asparagus hissed slightly when I placed it on my plate. yum.

I took my first bite and my eyes instantly closed. this helps to savor, you see, and it is involuntary, as is saying “oh…my…god.” my filet was so tender, it required little mastication, it just slowly vanished. it was exquisite. damn.

matte also enjoyed his buffalo, but when he sampled my filet, he had the same reaction I did. I think his words were “holy crap.” he is so getting filet next time we go. a sip of my $20/glass wine had the same effect on him, so he later ordered his own glass.

I enjoyed each bite of my 8-oz piece of bliss.

but how does one follow such a flawless meal?

with crème brule, that’s how. adorned with berries and a mint sprig, it was too big for matte to eat alone, so I had to help him (I’m nice like that). I let him make the first crack on the warm, crystallized sugar top. I love how the crème gets cooler as you approach the bottom of the dish. and those tiny flecks of vanilla. yum. matte says it’s the best crème brule he has ever had.

oh my. I need to end this here because I’ve gone on too long. and I’m making you all hungry…all 3 of you who read my blog.

December 10, 2005

time magazine’s person of the year

this photo was taken in times square today, at 1:23 p.m. I guess this is how time announces who they’ve chosen. thanks to whoever nominated me! I wonder what I win?
note:
this photo was not retouched or created in photoshop. it actually did appear in times square and a webcam took the photo. go here and send in your nomination for person of the year. maybe your face will be plastered in times square too.
me

December 9, 2005

this s#!@ really is b-a-n-a-n-a-s

bananasgwen stefani is selling a clothing line called harajuku lovers. you can buy a three-pack of chonies on fredflare.com for $44.

mentioning bananas on boxers is kind of punny. but gwen, you should really reconsider the word s#!@ on these girlie undies. that’s a little too close for comfort.

or maybe my mind is just in the gutter

(found on nymag.com)

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