catheroominations

In honor of National Grammar Day, I thought I’d share with you some of my biggest pet peeves regarding grammar. I realize these sound accusatory like I’m scolding you (yes you) for committing these heinous grammatical crimes, but these are directed toward no one in particular. I’m just venting. Here they are in no particular order (despite the numbers on the list):

1. Please, please, spell definitely correctly. It is not definAtely. Spell it right. With an i.
2. It’s is the conjunction of it is. Its (with no apostrophe) is the possessive of it. Also, other pronouns have possessives. It’s yours (not your’s), ours (not our’s), hers (not her’s) and his (not hi’s).
3. There is a book on the table. Not their is a book on the table or they’re is a book on the table. Their is possessive. They’re is the conjunction of they are. If a book belongs to more than one person it is said to be their book. There is their book that they’re very proud of. Got it?
4. Your is possessive. (Damn, these possessives give people all sorts of trouble.) You’re is the joining of you and are. You’re being incorrect in your grammar use when you use your instead of you’re.
5. Now this one is tricky. I don’t know why the rule is this way, but it’s by accident and on purpose. It is not on accident. (Funny, I never hear anyone say, “I did it by purpose.”) Example: I smashed into the ASS UV by accident. I didn’t do it on purpose. I understand the confusion here because why is on OK for purpose, but not OK for accident. I’ll tell you why. Because. That’s why.
6. This last one is not so much a grammar peeve, but a peeve in general. If you sign your emails with BRGDS, it does not at all convey the same sentiment as if you sign it Best regards. Because, you most definItely are not conveying your best regards if you can’t even take the extra keystrokes to type out the entire TWO WORDS. Do not shorten it to BRGDS. For all I know you could be signing it Bitchy Ridiculously Gassy Dip Shit.

This concludes my rant on grammar for the day. Until late this morning I didn’t know today was even a “holiday.” But had I known, I would have stood on the street corner holding a large piece of cardboard with grammar lessons such as the ones listed here. Maybe I could have made some extra dough.

*Today will also be forever remembered as the day that Brett Favre announced his retirement from the Green Bay Packers. Which, by the way, I would not have cared about before I met my husband. But because I married into a Packer family, today I’m sad.