November 27, 2006


This morning I woke up a little after 5:00 to go have my ass kicked to the first day of bootcamp. It was dark out. And wet. And cold. And most people in their right mind were still in their cozy beds, curled into the fetal position under their toasty down comforters, snoring and dreaming of lovely things. But not I. Because I am insane. But at least I’m not the only one.

I can accept my insanity, but what bugs me is how completely out of shape I have become. The warm-up tired me out. I used to run 10Ks and I can’t make it through a warm-up? I was huffing and puffing, making O’s with my breath in the air. (Actually it was oh sh!ts but huffing the word sh!t doesn’t result in much of a shape in the frigid air.)

My muscle memory needs some ginkgo biloba because my body has forgotten how to run, jump, skip, lunge, and repetitively lift things weighing slightly more than a can of soup. For much of the hour, my parts screamed, “What are you DOING to us? It’s still night-time, right? Why are we even UP? And dammit, woman! Would it have killed you to put on another layer? We’re freezing here! And this ground you’re sitting on while you stretch? It’s WET! Oooh, you’re gonna pay for this one, Missy!”

My wheezing drowned out the voices, mostly. But now, as I sit on the couch, the parts are still yelling. My quads, hamstrings , and calves are pissed off. And my glutes hurt in places I didn’t even know could hurt. You know what? It’d be easier to just tell you what doesn’t hurt.

My eyelashes. Yeah. Those are feeling pretty good right now.

Reality bites

elephant cakeI have discovered a fun new reality show. No, wait…don’t go! Did I mention that this reality show is about cake?

The show is Ace of Cakes and it airs on the Food Network. Duff Goldman is an amazingly talented sculptor/painter/baker who employs some seemingly unrelated skills such as graffiti and welding to build his masterpiece cakes. As stressful as it can get for him and his team, they all seem to have a great time working together. If you want to take a peek at some of his work, check out his bakery online. Bring milk.

As I am completely obsessed with wedding planning lately, I originally tuned in to see examples of wedding cakes. But Duff’s cakes are insane. From an airplane-shaped birthday cake for his dad, complete with fireworks to simulate a jet engine to a pair of life-size flamingos for a zoo party, his work is something you just have to see. I have a newfound respect for cake designers, and now I realize why their creations cost so much. (OK, I still think they’re priced a bit high, but now I have a better understanding of the hours of meticulous work required.)

Oh, and if anyone would like to contribute to have Duff make our wedding cake, and deliver it to our venue, I would be your new best friend.