November 5, 2006


Yesterday on the way to meet with a wedding photographer in Pleasanton, Matte and I saw a heard of goats standing right next to the highway. Next to, as in three feet away from asphalt. These goats were not spread out across a vast field, they stood packed onto a small incline, in a place they seemed they did not belong. The only thing separating the goats from the speeding cars was a flimsy-looking fence. A low, flimsy-looking fence. Any goat with a death wish could have hurdled the fence, and been immediately thrown into a terrifying real-life game of Frogger.

But these goats weren’t bothered by the noise or peril of passing traffic, nor did they act displaced. In fact, they were oblivious to it all, intently eating the golden weeds and grass on the hill. The sight caught me off-guard. One doesn’t expect to encounter such a thing, at such a place. It was like seeing Nicole Richie scarfing a dozen donuts at Krispy Kreme.*

On the way home, I kept my eyes peeled for the goats. I needed to make sure Matte and I hadn’t been hallucinating. Sure enough, there they were, still dining on the fine vegetation off Highway 680. But this time, I noticed something else. A sign on the hill that read “Goats R Us.” What the hell is Goats R Us?

Being the investigative type I am, I consulted Google to find the answer. Goats R Us is a family-owned business that “rents out” goats to aid in weed eradication and brush reduction. Too lazy to whack your own weeds? Sure, you could hire a gardener to help, but why do that when you can get your goat(s) for just $700 an acre. Just look how cute they are! (Images from Goats R Us.)


Doesn’t sound like such a baaaa-d idea to me!

*Matte came up with that analogy. The best I could compare it to was seeing Tom Cruise presenting at a Psychiatrist’s convention.