By: Junia

Junia — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 19:37:42 +0000

First Halloween joke I received and it took me about 5 minutes to get the punchline…I thought something was missing!

A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins t o run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER… FASTER… BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP… clappity-BUMP…

on his heels as the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His
heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing and gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,

The coffin stops……..

By: Kristin

Kristin — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 23:04:21 +0000

So a chicken walks into a library and says to the librarian “book, book!”. The librarian is quite confused because she didn’t think chickens read. So she says “you want a book?” and the chicken confirms “book book!”, so she tucks a children’s book under his wing and off the chicken goes.

Half an hour later, the chicken comes back looking a little annoyed. He puts the book on the counter, looks up at the librarian and says a little more insistently than before “book, book!” The librarian didn’t think chickens read, let alone read that fast, so she says “you want ANOTHER book?” to which the chicken replies “BOOK, BOOK!” so she takes a pre-teen novel from the shelf and puts it under his wing and off the chicken goes.

Not so long after that, the chicken returns looking mighty pissed off. He slams the book down on the counter, casts the hairy eyeball at the librarian and says “BOOK, BOOK!” The librarian, not surprised at this point, simply puts a Stephen King novel under his wing and off the chicken goes. This time, however, the librarian decides to follow the chicken to find out exactly what it is the chicken is doing with these books (or alternatively, if the chicken has found a prime reading spot in the town that she didn’t know about) So the librarian walks out of the building behind the chicken, locks the door, follows it down the stone steps, across the cobblestone road, past the post office, through the park, in front of the elementary school, behind the industrial park to a small marsh.

The librarian hides behind a small tree (she’s very thin) while the chicken drops the book at the feet of a frog…and do you know what the frog says?

“READ IT! READ IT!”

Comments on: Joke from Toad the Wet Sprocket

By: Junia

By: Kristin