September 12, 2006

Like déjà vu all over again

I’ve gone and done it again.
Bad toe

I had an ingrown toenail removed today.


a) Because it was so much fun the first time and I longed to once again feel a 3-inch needle being forced through my foot
b) Because it’s Jenni’s birthday today
c) I wanted to try out my new medical insurance
d) Because if I didn’t, I feared my toe would fall off
e) I want an excuse to wear Birkenstocks to work
f) Shall I go on?

Ugh. I knew it. I knew it! My toe was hurting in a familiar way. Despite my fear of his massive needles, I gathered up the courage to call Dr. Robinson, podiatrist to the not-so-rich and not-so-famous.

I could tell when his nurse looked at Piggie #1 that I was in for torture, but I figured it’d be the same torture I had last time. Nay nay. Apparently I have crazy-ass toenails that want to grow and grow and cover more space than my toe will allow, which is why my big toes always feel like I just stubbed them one minute ago. My right toe? Infected. Dr. Robinson took care of that today, smiley-face to boot. But that’s not all! Along with this, I can look forward to a future procedure, which will be three times the fun! He needs to work on both my big toes, on each side of each nail. He needs to cut them away from the skin, and then he needs to do something to the skin so that my nails will stop hogging so much digital real estate. I don’t recall the exact terminology because I suddenly became deaf when he mentioned gashing my toes 3 more times. When he mentioned something about recovery for this 1-hour procedure being 3 weeks, my hearing miraculously returned.


He decided the more intense procedure could wait until I am back from my vacation. He was worried that the right toe might get worse, so he removed the yucky part of that nail today.

The good news is, I have Darvocet.

I loves me some Darvocet.