catheroominations

Someone has taken my brain, placed it one of those mesh metal baskets and dropped it into a vat of boiling oil. It’s fried, people. To a crisp.

My week-long class was intense. It was so unlike any “seminar” I’ve attended. This was like a college course packed into one week, complete with writing a paper and taking a final exam on the last day. 10 hours a day of instruction, daily quizzes, reading assignments, and workshops kept me from eating even remotely healthy foods and getting enough rest.

Last night, while I slept in my own bed, visions of my final paper and exam answers danced in my head and I realized where I messed up, and what answers I got wrong. Not-so-sweet dreams. There’s nothing I can do about it now. But if I don’t pass, I will cry.

I’m still not done with this damn cold that caused my sinus infection and that is pissing me off. Had I bailed on the training (and lost the $1,700 course fee), I probably could have called in sick to work and gotten rest and fluids last week. But I couldn’t get out of taking the class. So I am still sick.

My half marathon is THREE WEEKS from tomorrow. Today, my Team in Training group is doing another long run at a beautiful location and I have to miss it because my head is so full of snot and phlegm, I could probably only make it 1/16 of a mile. I haven’t run much in the last three weeks so I was really looking forward to getting back into it once class was over. But I can’t yet. Worse, I’m afraid all the training I did before Christmas will be out the window. I have not run a distance longer than 10 miles, and the one time I did that in mid December, I was miserable. I want to try 10 miles again before the race on SuperBowl Sunday, but I don’t see how that can happen.

Usually, being sick doesn’t bother me so much. But I don’t usually have a half marathon to run, and I can take the time required to get well. If I miss work this week because I’m sick, I do not care. I need to get back to my normal clearly breathing, not sneezing, not stuffy-headed self. I like that person much more than this one.

FYI: having a sinus infection on an airplane is HIGHLY UNPLEASANT. Also, sinus infections can cause toothaches. This is good news I was happy to learn because I could not endure that for much longer and I wouldn’t be able to go to the dentist until a week from tomorrow. I will be in a class for 14 hours (yes 14 hours) a day starting tomorrow. It starts at 7 am and ends at 5, but then afterwards we have evening workshops that last until after 9 pm. Fun times.

I’m sick and I need rest and I want my own bed. Although, a deluxe room in a hotel in San Francisco could be nice too. Especially because it comes with a Bath Butler. Someone will come and actually draw me a bath. This drawing of the bath will have to happen at 11 pm or so though, so I might need to ask him to stay in the room and make sure I don’t doze off and slide underwater.

I don’t have time to be sick right now. I’m supposed to focus in this training class, do group presentations, and pass a final at the end. All with a pressurized head full of phlegm. But I have my antibiotics so the pressure should subside soon (I hope).

So, when should I rest to get over this sinus thing? Maybe when the class is over on Friday. That will be beneficial, I’m sure.

I had planned to at least try a treadmill run or go outside in San Francisco and run this week while I’m there for this training. Running would have to happen at either 5 am or at 11 pm, so, I might as well be sick since running at those times is not ideal.

The good news is that ffter this training is over (assuming I pass the exam), I will be certified and will be able to perform specialized duties at work. I think I should ask for a raise. Don’t you? And a vacation. Who cares if I just got back from one on Friday?

P.S: This post is a little bit all over the place, but I’m on drugs.

This morning, while piddling about the apartment, procrastinating getting ready for work, I noticed something on the patio. It was a power cable for a laptop. And it was plugged in to the power outlet. Now, this isn’t a terribly extraordinary find, say, in August, when Matte likes to work outside, but it’s been around 40 degrees here lately, and unless Matte has Eskimo tendencies I’m not aware of, it’s too cold for him to spend any length of time writing code on the patio. Also, this power cable was for an HP and we are a Dell/Apple family.

This can mean only one thing. Well, two things. 1) someone who is not us was using our power, and 2) someone who is not us was on our patio. Our property. Where we live, sitting on our patio furniture.

Granted, they were not in our apartment, but still. It creeps me out. They have intruded on our space. Invaded our haven. I want to call Grissom to come and run a fingerprint check on the frozen cable. Ooh, better yet: Warrick. Yeah. And I would bake him cookies and just stare at his face, because those eyes. (THUD) He’s like over a foot taller than I am, so I’d have to stand on one of the violated Ikea chairs in order to be hypnotized by his eyes, and said chair would probably fold within itself under my weight and I’d come crashing to the concrete. But he would save me, catching me in his big, strong arms. Oh, and what if he needed to make sure i wasn’t trying to frame someone? That I created the crime scene? He might need my DNA. I’d be more than happy to open wide for Warrick Brown. So he could swab my cheek, I mean. And then, when he realized I had no part in creating this scene, he’d feel terrible for doubting my innocence. So we would make out.*

Uhm…so yeah. Where was I?

Oh. Yeah. SOMEONE WAS ON OUR PATIO STEALING OUR ELECTRICITY! Do not step one foot on our (rented) property without an invitation. Our abode is not your Internet cafe. There is a Starbucks just down the street, in any direction you look. Oh, and guess what, Mr. Space Invader! I took your cable from the patio, so now you are powerless. Literally. How do you like that, Assface?

*In a purely hypothetical world, of course. Love ya, Matte!

In honor of Festivus, I hereby present my very own airing of (workplace) grievances:

• Popping your gum so loudly I can hear it from four cubicles away.
• Nail clipping in your cubicle. I mean, come ON!
• Using the word “right” used when it doesn’t belong. (”I left him a message, right? And he never called me back, right? And I’m still playing phone tag with him, right?”) It has reached epidemic proportions at my company.
• Lack of articles before nouns (”customer wants a meeting tomorrow”). Unless someone has the extreme misfortune to have the first name “Customer,” use a freaking article when referring to them.
• Making phone calls using your speaker phone, in your cubicle. Unless you are performing a bris or something, pick up the damn receiver.
• Discussions that take place between two cubicles, when my cubicle separates the two cubicles housing the people having the discussion.
• Cubicles. Suck.
• Reheated fish in the microwave. Just…EW.
• Singing in the stall in the restroom. Really? Singing? Are you just so happy to be evacuating your bladder that you cannot contain yourself? At least you’re not singing about the actual act. I guess I should cut you a break.
• Also? People who answer the phone while in the stall. Every time someone does that, I flush. Even if I don’t have to at the time. Because folks on the other end of the line need to know that they are talking to someone while they are sitting on the commode.

So, in the spirit of all things Festivus, please air your own grievances (workplace or other) in the comments.

Next up, Feats of Strength!

We are destined to either 1) pay rent forever or 2) buy a house in Iowa. We definitely won’t be buying in Santa Clara County anytime soon.

I’m trying to get into the Christmas spirit, but for some reason, I’m not feelin’ it, dawg. See what I mean?

I fart in your general direction…in everyone’s general direction.