catheroominations

yo! mtv natalie portman raps! in case you missed the show last night, check out the latest snl short here. yo, natalie portman raps.

updated 3/6: they already pulled it. link is dead.

updated 3/7: nbc has the video here.

recent photos are floating around the internets that depict emma watson drinking beer. emma watson is a mere 15 years old. much too young to be starting to go all paris hilton on us.*

in light of her new partygirl ways, I have come up with some spin-offs to the harry potter franchise.

hermione granger and the sorcerer get stoned

hermione granger and the chamber of secret stash of mum’s and dad’s alcohol

hermione granger and the prisoner of intervention

hermione granger and the goblet of whatever’s on tap

hermione granger and the order of el presidente margarita, blended, no salt

hermione granger and the half-drunk mudblood

and the upcoming 7th installation: hermione granger and the shameful night with he-who-shall-not-be-named

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*I do realize the drinking age in england is, like, 14 or something, so technically emma’s not doing anything wrong here. I’m merely commenting on the fact that these pictures have surfaced and seem to be causing such a ruckus.

spongebob is the latest victim. (found via vh-1’s best week ever blog. my daily source for news.)

in case you missed these, well, you’ve been sleeping under a rock. here are some valiant attempts at the phenomenon that’s sweeping the internets. the brokeback mashup:
brokeback lost
the empire brokeback
brokeback to the future
brokeback gump

while reading an article about norm mineta calling britney irresponsible (ya think?) I came across this sentence:

“mineta said children roughly from about age 4 to age 8, as long as they are under 4-feet-9, should be placed in booster seats.”

most of you read that with no reaction. but not I.

I am 3 inches away from a booster seat, people!

oh, except that I am not between ages 4 and 8. whew!

(somewhere in america, friday, february 10, 10 p.m.)

dude 1: yo, that was a @#$%in’ funny ass show, b.
dude 2: yeah, @#$%in’ hilarious when the cousins got married. and when justine bateman almost kissed jason bateman. hot.
dude 1: hot if you’re from appalachia. that’s incest, dawg. now portia is hot. I’d hit that.
dude 2: good luck bro, she likes chicks. ellen degeneres.
dude 1: even better. threesome, dude! hey, check tivo. when’s it on again?
dude 2: it says no upcoming episodes. what the @#$%, yo?
dude 1: aw shit. now I remember. I heard something about it being canceled. moving to cable or some shit.
dude 2: we’re gonna have to pony up some bucks for showtime?
dude 1: I think we have it in the pole dancing fund.
dude 2: you on crack? do. not. touch. the pole dancing fund!
dude 1: well what then? we can’t afford to add showtime. our cable bill is already heinous.
dude 2: I guess we’re hosed then.
dude 1: yeah. sh!t.
dude 2: f#$%in’ a, dude.

what you have just witnessed is a small sample of what will happen in households all over america friday night as arrested development’s final episode airs. four final episodes, in fact. after this, it’s all gone. except on showtime (if they decide to pick it up). whatever the case, the ratings are too low for fox to continue airing it.

see what you did? you should be ashamed of yourselves.
unless you are a loyal viewer. then you rule. and I feel your pain.

the real action was here yesterday: animal planet.

if you watch those clips and they don’t improve your monday mood, you are broken. and mean. and you have no friends.

my new favorite show (ok, so I have like 10 favorite shows) is #1 single on e! it’s a reality show starring lisa loeb and follows her on her hopeful path out of singledom. lisa is utterly a-freaking-dorable. she’s so sweet and cute and funny; so much like me. seriously though, I can relate to her plight as she suffers the same agonies that I did: being in my 30s and single, getting set up with doofi (that’s plural for doofus), feeling lonely, wondering about the future, searching for that someone special, and talking to mom about it all. she recalls to her mom when she’d be at a party and see “older people” there and she’d think how unfortunate they were to not be married yet. now she realizes that she’s one of those people. and the tears come. dude.

the premiere episode ended with her moving from los angeles to new york. on her flight she’ll meet a guy she got matched up with on airtroductions.

I hate the word refreshing, but that’s the best word I can use to describe this show. it airs sundays at 10 pm, but e! replays it several times throughout the week for those of you with a grey’s anatomy conflict.