catheroominations

Would occur if Joey Chestnut from San Jose, CA, wins the Nathan’s Famous International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest, according to one of the announcers.

Oh, and this would also make Joey Chestnut an American hero, on par with Abraham Lincoln, Neil Armstrong, and…Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks?

Another contestant dedicated his hot dog-eating to N!kk! H!lton, because she lives in the shadow of P@ris, and this contestant feels that he lives in the shadow of Joey Chestnut. Yes, perhaps N!kk! has not seen the quantity of ahem…”hot dogs” as her sister. Poor girl. But I am sure that she is flattered by the dedication.

All of this was on ESPNHD. HD? Do we really need to see people shoving frankfurters into their mouths in high definition? And then replayed in slow motion in the case of a photo finish?

Apparently we do, because I watched it. And Joey Chestnut did his country proud as he chowed 66 hot dogs. He defeated Kobayashi, who only guzzled 63.

Yes, people, the Mustard Belt is back in America, on this, the Nation’s birthday. Thank you, Joey Chestnut. You made San Jose proud. So readers, today when you are at your 4th of July BBQ or party, please, raise your weiner hot dog to Joey, American Hero.

Now it’s time for the Scripps National Spelling Bee in HD. Because you totally need high def to hear kids spell things like pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

…along with his friends Andy and Stewart.

The Police played at the Oakland Coliseum last night for the first time in twenty-four years. I was there, twenty-four years ago, which means I am old. Because only an old person would go to a show on The Police reunion tour and ask for ear plugs at the first aid station. And only someone old (or someone getting over the stomach flu) would not drink one drop of alcohol at said reunion concert, even though new favorite beer by Kona Brewing Company was on tap. Damn flu.
keep reading So this guy named Gordon* kept me up too late last night

Yesterday we were watching CNN’s Time Magazine Person of the Year special. Various people discussed who they thought deserved this year’s title. Some names mentioned included Kim Jong-il, Barack Obama, the creators of YouTube, and Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. One woman on the street offered her opinion–Britney Spears for dumping K-Fed. Uhm…no. Although I didn’t hear Heather Armstrong’s choice (she was part of a panel of bloggers interviewed for the show), I think it’s safe to assume she didn’t say Brit.

Near the end of the hour-long show, there was the obligatory suspenseful commercial break before the big reveal of this year’s cover. As we waited with bated breath, I said to Matte, “Watch. I bet the cover will just say YOU. You are the person of the year.”

I was right! Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2006 is you. And you, and you, and you!

Now if only I had this same talent with lottery numbers.

About a year ago, I wrote this.

Then today I read about one of Heidi’s latest recruits. This is wrong on so many levels, but I sure hope he refrains from the ear nibbling.

My sister wants me to go with her to New Wave City on Saturday for her birthday. She tells me that at midnight they’ll probably do a block of Duran Duran songs, maybe lasting a whole hour! I hope I can stay awake that late. Now where’d I put that fedora?

Seen in the Chili’s parking lot today at lunch. My friend Krissy called it a Jackuar, which cracked me up, as Krissy is wont to do. But I believe the correct pronunciation requires a pseudo English accent, and enunciation of the ‘u’. Like this:

Jack-you-aaah.

That reminds me…today I spoke with a Brit on the phone and he sounded so polite and educated. This gentleman used words and phrases like brilliant, good stuff, and jolly good, and to me, it sounded just splendid. When I use the word brilliant, it’s usually to describe someone or something far from the true definition, like an idiot driver who just cut me off on the freeway in his lifted-up, stupid-ass truck that my car could drive underneath without scratching its roof and do you purposely try to look stupid? Because if so, brilliant!