catheroominations

February 27, 2008

Are Titleists the best golf balls?

Because if I have to have a white, dimpled ball in my throat, it had better be a high-end one. Since Monday afternoon, I have been feeling like I am trying to swallow a golf ball every time I…well, swallow. Monday night and Tuesday, I had a fever and was so achy I could barely get up off the couch. Today the fever and aches are gone, but there still seems to be a golf ball trying to make its way down my esophagus. This is not fun because I like to eat and it’s hard to eat when each bite has to battle for space in my throat. The damn golf ball will NOT go down already.

It’s not the kind of sore throat that makes my voice sound hotter, like Demi Moore in her Jackie Templeton days, either. There’s a bit of a dry cough with it, and other than the golf ball sitting back there annoying me, I feel ok. My glands aren’t even swollen.

Because it hurts to eat, I must choose my food wisely. It needs to be worth the pain to eat it. I find that chocolate chip cookies work well. Ok, they hurt a little when I swallow, but they’re so good I don’t care. But even better are Firecrackers. I also think a milkshake would be nice. But Daniel Day Lewis took it.

Now that I think about it, mashed potatoes. Those would be ok, I think. Tiramisu would work. Oh, and crème brûlée. (Are those the correct accents? I pasted it in from Google.)

Definitely out are Brussels sprouts (much too golf ball-like, besides tasting like ass) and anything like vegetables, which offer nutritional value.

I think I need some macaroni and cheese.

And maybe some Maker’s Mark. That’ll erode that @#$%ing golf ball, if I drink enough of it.

December 16, 2007

I guess I don’t do pity parties well

Just after I posted this, I had a sudden change of attitude. I guess it took spewing it out on my blog to realize that the day was going to be only as bad as I allowed it to be. Sure, getting a speeding ticket sucked, but whatever. What’s done is done. And yeah, I ached after the long run, but I had a choice. I could sit on the couch, watching bad TV and whimpering while missing a fun wine tasting birthday party, or I could suck it up.

Aches and pains be damned! I sucked it up.

I quickly showered, got ready, and looked up the wineries that were included in the bus tour everyone was on. I had enough time to meet the party at the second winery, so I headed back down Hwy 17, passing the scene of my earlier crime. This time, I passed it going just over 50 miles per hour with the cruise control on.

As soon as I saw everyone on the gazebo, I knew I’d made the right decision by getting off my sorry ass and joining the party. Everyone was happy to see me, as Matte had told them about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. No one expected me to show up, but I surprised everyone by doing so. And I love surprising people. Someone said “you should sit down!” so I did, while sipping a lovely Burrell School pinot noir. And then someone handed me some lusciously rich dark chocolate. Awesome.

The next stop on the bus tour was Savannah Chanelle, but Matte and I took my car so I wouldn’t have to pick it up at Burrell School later. At Savannah Chanelle we got to hear the interesting history of the winery, and saw a split-root tree on the property that sits RIGHT ON the San Andreas fault. Friggin’ cool. I tried jumping up and down to trigger it, but I don’t think I was able to make it rumble.

Wine-tasted out, we headed for Rachel (the birthday girl) and Shawn’s house for some eats. The menu consisted of gazpacho (I blew on the first spoonful in case it was too hot, out of soup-eating habit. But duh.) and paella (with sausage, chicken, shrimp, and bigger shrimp). Sweet Jeebus, that was some mighty fine food! We drank more wine…a fabulous 1991 something-I-can’t-recall-nor-pronounce-but-was-Spanish. Dinner was followed by a creme brulee-like dessert (also Spanish, the name of which is also escaping me). I was almost falling asleep into my dessert (at 7:30 pm), so Matte and I left for home so I could get a foot massage.

My day ended so much better than it started. Because I was not going to let the crappy day stay crappy. I would not let it beat me. And today I am sore, but it’s the good kind of sore, that reminds me that I went beyond my physical comfort zone and ran double-digits yesterday.

November 15, 2007

Those aren’t chocolate jimmies on your Serendipity Frrrozen Hot Chocolate

Oh, RATS! The Department of Health has closed down Serendipity 3 for multiple vomitrocious health code violations. The inspector found mouse droppings, fly infestations, bad sewage, and more than 100 live cockroaches. Maybe Serendipity should have invested more in pest control and less on the gold and diamond bracelet that graces the base of the golden-lined goblet containing 28 different kinds of cocoa in their $25,000 Frrozen Haute Chocolate.

Maybe they should also give me that bracelet since they no longer need it.

I went to Serendipity a couple of years ago. People pack the sidewalk outside the restaurant, waiting for a table. We were there for their famous Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, but when we saw they offered a foot-long hot dog, well, I had to get one of those too. And my friends and I giggled about it. Because it was a full 12 inches. And it was a hot dog. And we are mature.

November 12, 2007

Say CHEESE!

I regularly salivate over the display of Safeway Signature soups, so on a recent trip, I stocked up. How can you pass up something called Fajita Chicken Toasted Corn Chowder? My taste buds did a little happy cheer with pompoms and split kicks when I tasted it. Oh, and the Rosemary Chicken and White Bean? I can eat the entire tub in one sitting. I’ve never met a Safeway Signature Soup I didn’t like, so when I saw one called Smokey Cheddar Ale Soup, I thought, “I like cheese! I like beer!” and it was all I could do to keep from drooling all over the sneeze guard.

But you know what? I tried it tonight, and it’s basically melted cheese. A bowl of melted cheese that I guess has some beer in it, but I couldn’t detect any beer in the bowl, just that in my bottle of Sam Adams Light.

So, is cheese soup really something you just eat? Like regular soup? Or do people buy that soup to pour it over macaroni? Or as a dip for tortilla chips? I’m so not understanding the appeal of cheese soup. I considered making a sandwich to go with it, as I love the tomato soup/grilled cheese combo, but what? Using that logic, would I make a tomato sandwich to go with the cheese soup? A tomato sandwich does not sound appetizing to me though, unless it has some bacon and lettuce on it. I guess a crock of cheddar cheese soup would be great for people going low-carb, but who can eat soup without a nice crunchy sourdough roll, or some crackers? I can’t.

So, does anyone have a good use for 2 cups of liquid cheese?

November 4, 2007

Icing on the cake

Icing on the cake

The cupcakes were delicious, the girltalk was fabulous, the wine was flowing, and fun was had by all (look, I just used passive voice, which I HATE). I highly recommend cupcake parties.

Sprinkles

November 2, 2007

Sistahs

My sister is a pastry chef. She makes cupcakes from scratch and decorates them with homemade icing to look like this:

Cupcakes

Those are meringue sticks on top. Oh, and jimmies. Also, she added a light dusting of cocoa.

I am not a pastry chef. I make one cupcake (a huge one) from a box of mix and decorate it with Pillsbury frosting in a can to make it look like this:

Cupcake

Those are m&ms on top. Not the mini-sized ones. Those are full-sized m&ms. That is a dinner plate holding the cupcake.

My sister has a degree from the California Culinary Academy.
I have a book called Cooking for Dummies that my mom bought me.

My sister has taught cooking classes, and once assisted Martin Yan when he taught a class.
I like to watch the Food Network.

In her job, my sister got to meet Bono and Bill Clinton.
In my job, I got to meet the guy who delivers our office supplies.

My sister will soon start a new job, working under a former Top Chef contestant.
I like to watch Top Chef.

My sister is a professional. She bakes sober. And as such, her cupcakes rock.
Despite the warning “Don’t drink and bake”*, I plan to do just that tomorrow with Stacy and McGee and some other fabulous ladies who do not heed our governor’s advice. Perhaps some alcohol will reveal my hidden talents?

*In what movie was that line spoken?

September 8, 2007

My head is spinning

I might have had too much wine at dinner. I might have had more wine than dinner. But I can still type, and spell words correctly. I think.

This may not have been the best idea, the drinking, because tomorrow Matte and I are going to Vintage Santa Clara. We have tickets that entitle us to drink more wine. And eat much food from local restaurants. This will all happen in the middle of the day, on a Sunday. In the heat.

I will be in excellent shape for work on Monday. Working from home might be a good idea. And I use the term working lightly.

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