catheroominations

Oh, RATS! The Department of Health has closed down Serendipity 3 for multiple vomitrocious health code violations. The inspector found mouse droppings, fly infestations, bad sewage, and more than 100 live cockroaches. Maybe Serendipity should have invested more in pest control and less on the gold and diamond bracelet that graces the base of the golden-lined goblet containing 28 different kinds of cocoa in their $25,000 Frrozen Haute Chocolate.

Maybe they should also give me that bracelet since they no longer need it.

I went to Serendipity a couple of years ago. People pack the sidewalk outside the restaurant, waiting for a table. We were there for their famous Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, but when we saw they offered a foot-long hot dog, well, I had to get one of those too. And my friends and I giggled about it. Because it was a full 12 inches. And it was a hot dog. And we are mature.

I regularly salivate over the display of Safeway Signature soups, so on a recent trip, I stocked up. How can you pass up something called Fajita Chicken Toasted Corn Chowder? My taste buds did a little happy cheer with pompoms and split kicks when I tasted it. Oh, and the Rosemary Chicken and White Bean? I can eat the entire tub in one sitting. I’ve never met a Safeway Signature Soup I didn’t like, so when I saw one called Smokey Cheddar Ale Soup, I thought, “I like cheese! I like beer!” and it was all I could do to keep from drooling all over the sneeze guard.

But you know what? I tried it tonight, and it’s basically melted cheese. A bowl of melted cheese that I guess has some beer in it, but I couldn’t detect any beer in the bowl, just that in my bottle of Sam Adams Light.

So, is cheese soup really something you just eat? Like regular soup? Or do people buy that soup to pour it over macaroni? Or as a dip for tortilla chips? I’m so not understanding the appeal of cheese soup. I considered making a sandwich to go with it, as I love the tomato soup/grilled cheese combo, but what? Using that logic, would I make a tomato sandwich to go with the cheese soup? A tomato sandwich does not sound appetizing to me though, unless it has some bacon and lettuce on it. I guess a crock of cheddar cheese soup would be great for people going low-carb, but who can eat soup without a nice crunchy sourdough roll, or some crackers? I can’t.

So, does anyone have a good use for 2 cups of liquid cheese?

The cupcakes were delicious, the girltalk was fabulous, the wine was flowing, and fun was had by all (look, I just used passive voice, which I HATE). I highly recommend cupcake parties.

My sister is a pastry chef. She makes cupcakes from scratch and decorates them with homemade icing to look like this:

Those are meringue sticks on top. Oh, and jimmies. Also, she added a light dusting of cocoa.

I am not a pastry chef. I make one cupcake (a huge one) from a box of mix and decorate it with Pillsbury frosting in a can to make it look like this:

Those are m&ms on top. Not the mini-sized ones. Those are full-sized m&ms. That is a dinner plate holding the cupcake.

My sister has a degree from the California Culinary Academy.
I have a book called Cooking for Dummies that my mom bought me.

My sister has taught cooking classes, and once assisted Martin Yan when he taught a class.
I like to watch the Food Network.

In her job, my sister got to meet Bono and Bill Clinton.
In my job, I got to meet the guy who delivers our office supplies.

My sister will soon start a new job, working under a former Top Chef contestant.
I like to watch Top Chef.

My sister is a professional. She bakes sober. And as such, her cupcakes rock.
Despite the warning “Don’t drink and bake”*, I plan to do just that tomorrow with Stacy and McGee and some other fabulous ladies who do not heed our governor’s advice. Perhaps some alcohol will reveal my hidden talents?

*In what movie was that line spoken?

I might have had too much wine at dinner. I might have had more wine than dinner. But I can still type, and spell words correctly. I think.

This may not have been the best idea, the drinking, because tomorrow Matte and I are going to Vintage Santa Clara. We have tickets that entitle us to drink more wine. And eat much food from local restaurants. This will all happen in the middle of the day, on a Sunday. In the heat.

I will be in excellent shape for work on Monday. Working from home might be a good idea. And I use the term working lightly.

I had lunch with my friend Beth today. This is a rare occasion because 1) most of the year she works as a school counselor and doesn’t get a chance to leave campus for lunch and 2) I don’t often get out for a lunch break either, in my very busy, vitally important position at work*.

Beth’s birthday is one week earlier than mine so we exchanged presents over lunch. I got her this deliciously fragrant pomegranate. We discovered these on an extreme shopping spree at Takashimaya in New York City a couple of years ago. Just recently Beth had lamented that her NYC pomegranate was losing it’s oomph, and a light went on in my head. DING! I will find that pomegranate and get her a new one! And I did. And it arrived and sat in my closet for weeks and weeks, adding a lovely aroma to my walk-in. I was sad to see it go, but she was so thrilled to get it, and I was just as happy to give it to her.

About a week ago, the girls (also known as fiends…I must tell that story one day) got together for brunch on what would have been our friend Julie’s 42nd birthday. Our “ritual” is to visit the cemetery and spread out a blanket and share a bottle of her favorite wine, V. Sattui Johannisberg Riesling. We drink it with tiny little plastic naked men hanging off the edge of our cups. And the cups this year had Ariel the Little Mermaid on them, swimming under the sea. In honor of Julie’s favorite Disney character, we also wore Ariel tiaras, as we sat sipping, and laughing…in the cemetery. Irreverent or not, it’s what we do, and it makes us happy. We think Julie likes it too.

But I digress.

While we were sitting on the blanket, probably talking about food or cake or birthdays or something, I mentioned seeing a new cake pan that looked awesome.

Seriously, how cool is this cake?

It is made by using this pan, reminiscent of Madonna’s bra:

Beth gave me that very cake pan today, for my birthday, because Beth hears things. And she remembers things. And then she buys those things. Now I can’t decide what to do with it first…make a ginormous blueberry muffin? A big chocolate cupcake? What to do? What to do?

*I am as vitally important as condoms are in a monastery.