catheroominations

I could shop on Etsy for days. I just adore looking at all the pretty things. There are so many shiny, sparkly, cute, sweet, kickass items for sale at Etsy and I need almost none of them. But I do need a cute little apron, like the ones here. (Yes! I do! I need it!) So, I entered this contest over at Loralee’s Looney Tunes to win a free one. Because 1) I love free stuff; 2) I love winning; and 3) if I had this apron, I would cook more. Naked. (I just added that for more hits coming from “cook naked” on Google, by the way.) But seriously! This apron would help me channel my inner Rachael Ray (who I hear is a bitch but we were born on the exact same day) and make some fine vittles for my husband. Can’t you just see me baking homemade snickerdoodles, with flour on my cheeks and nose, puttering around my kitchen in this Saucy Dots apron? It is Teh Cuteness, no? If I don’t win, you want to buy it for me, don’t you?

*Yeah, I know the quote from Phil Hartman is sassy, but it just didn’t work as well here.

Which of the following is the correct definition of muffin top?

1. The phenomenon caused by the bit of pudge that oozes out the top of one’s jeans (AKA Dunlop’s disease: “My belly done lops over my britches!”)
2. The only item on the menu at Elaine Benes’ bakery, Top o’the Muffin to You!
3. A cereal found exclusively at the Dollar Tree
4. All of the above.

Until tonight, I was only familiar with the fashion don’t and the Seinfeld reference. But now I’ve discovered these calcium-rich muffin tops! So much better than the belly kind.

By the way, they also sell these at the Dollar Tree. But, ladies, please get a second opinion, OK?

Also, be sure you take a close look at the bakery items at the Dollar Tree, to ensure freshness. Look at the large version of this photo to see just what makes this bread “extra sourdough.”

The Dollar Tree is a great place to pick up gifts for Thanksgiving. Thank your host or hostess with a nice can of sardines (2 for $1), or bring an appetizer of Fiddle-Faddle (just $1). And be prepared for the weather with some raingear. A 5-pack of rain bonnets is just a buck and it includes a fabulous carrying case! I’m giving the pack to my mom. Nothing’s too good for you, Ma!

Matte found some inspiration for an artsy shot. Scrumptious, I’m sure!

I’m watching an episode of The Colbert Report on TiVo, and they just aired an ad for…

GUYS GONE WILD

Yes, ladies. It’s true. It’s payback time. Woohoo! Choose from The Big Easy, Heatstroke, and Dude, Where’s My Pants?* (Nice grammar on that last title, guys.) Hurry, get to guise gone w!ld daht com (I’m so not linking to that) and order your very own copy, each for just $19.99!

THUD (I just imagined it on the 65-inch screen.)

*In Spanish, that’s El Grande Facil, Insolación, and Hombre, Donde Estan Mis Pantalones**, but really, do you care about audio for this type of thing?

**OK, so maybe it isn’t gramatically Spanishly correct, but I really just wanted to say “Hombre, donde estan mis pantalones?”

One of the perks of my new cohabitation situation is that my commute has been quadrupled. No, really. It is a perk. My old commute was a mere two miles, so I never got to listen to Dave Morey for very long, or hear more than a couple of songs on my iPod (Stairway to Heaven? Wouldn’t even be able to hear the whole song). Besides, living so close to work, I could go home for lunch and that was bad. Once I was home, I never wanted to leave to come back to work.

Because I live so far away from work now, I can happily tune in to KFOG, or hear up to 12 iTunes on my kickass new stereo as I enjoy my 15 minute drive to the office. Bonus! There’s a Jamba Juice on the way! I’ve become somewhat of a regular since my friend June touted the joys of her daily dose of Jamba. Here is how she describes her favorite smoothie:

“I get the Berry Fulfilling…it’s one of the Enlightened ones and it really feels you up!”

You can see why June loves her Jamba. Doesn’t every girl want to start her day with a nice feeling up? I had to try this. So, every morning, I pull into the parking lot on my way to the office, maneuvering my way through the crooked parkers and bad puller-outers to enter the fruitilicious establishment that is Jamba Juice.

I’ve been getting the Berry Fulfilling every time I go and have yet to be felt up. I don’t know why this is, but I can no longer handle the rejection so this morning I switched to the Mango Mantra. I figured mangos are melons, and well, boobs are melons, so this will hopefully enhance my chances for gropage. So far, I haven’t gotten any action. But it is only our first date, and perhaps Mango Mantra is a gentleman. Or maybe he’s gay. Yeah, that would be just great. I’m just grateful that each time I visit Jamba, I get some booty. Yeah, Baby!

I’ll keep y’all posted as my smoothie and I become better acquainted.

I don’t have a problem. I can quit whenever I want to.*

Iron Sudoku.

*Because there’s only one puzzle a day.

ok, that last food giveaway sort of broke the bank, so I had to rethink my generosity. it’s not really fair to give people something for nothing. I mean, just because you come here doesn’t entitle you to a reward. so this time, you gotta leave a comment. here’s your prize for leaving a comment.

go to arby’s on march 9 from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. and get one (1) of their new chicken naturals tenders. yes, it’s true. 100% natural chicken. they’re no longer selling the unnatural kind.

oh, and if you link to catheroominations from your own page, I’ll even throw in a dipping sauce for your added effort. now, I am trusting you not to take advantage of my charitable nature. only go to arby’s to get your freebies if you fulfill the required duties first, ok?

don’t say I never gave you anything.

just for being you, I’m treating you all to pancakes at ihop tuesday, february 28. visit your local restaurant from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. and get a short stack at no charge. bring the kids, your significant other, your parents, the in-laws, the dog! consider it my gift to you.

do you see the benefits of visiting my blog on a daily basis?

happy fat tuesday!