catheroominations

Remember, three months ago, when I said I was ready to stop eating crap? Well, I have stopped eating crap. I no longer binge on things like Taco Works tortilla chips and salsa, chocolate, or frozen chocolate chip cookie dough. In fact, since before I started this new way of eating, there has been an unopened, untouched box of those deliciously bad little nuggets of goodness in my freezer.

I have completely changed my eating habits. I have given up soda, even diet soda. My new snacks are pomegranate seeds. I can’t remember the last time I ate fast food, or had ice cream. Sure, I allow myself a treat now and then, but today it’s in moderation. I can stop at one serving — a normal-sized serving. I eat low fat, I eat tons of fruit and veggies. I avoid sugar and don’t munch on candy. I rarely eat bread or pasta, unless the bread is whole wheat and the pasta is made from brown rice. My drink of choice is water. I drink approximately two liters of it a day. I gave up coffee, and replaced it with jasmine green tea.

I might be boring now to some. I don’t dine out much, unless I can get something reasonably healthy. That means I never go to my favorite Mexican restaurant anymore. I don’t really miss it though. I bring my lunch to work, and make all my own food. I avoid the processed junk that’s filled with sodium and words I cannot even pronounce.

Social situations and holidays freak me out a little, but in a good way. I am even more stubborn about my food when I am surrounded by the most temptation. I went on a cruise to Mexico and blew it big time, eating dessert at every dinner, drinking to my heart’s content, and ignoring my new ways of eating. Consequently, I gained weight and felt like crap when I got back home, just before Thanksgiving. I thought my plans were doomed, gaining weight before Thanksgiving? Instead of resorting to my old ways during the week of Thanksgiving, I lost the weight I gained on the cruise. Eating well just makes me feel better, inside and out.

Oh, and I’ve lost 15 pounds too.

What started me on this path was when I saw photos of myself from my 40th birthday party. I could not believe how far I’d “let myself go.” I didn’t think I looked like that person in the photos. I didn’t think that was the person I was projecting to people physically. Nevermind the fact that none of my clothes were fitting correctly and I would opt for workout wear whenever I could. I hated getting ready for work everyday. I hated shopping for new clothes, not because they didn’t fit right, but because I would have to buy a size I didn’t want to admit I was. So I squeezed into my clothes from thinner days and looked and felt like a sausage in denim casing.

Before you start thinking I’m a food Nazi now, I’m not. I do enjoy my old vices, but I don’t eat five times the serving size. I know that depriving myself will only lead to failure, but I also know that certain foods will trigger overeating and I could put myself in a downward spiral if I lose focus. I’ve learned how to stop eating mindlessly. Food is fuel, not a hobby or a habit.

I know at any moment I could return to my old ways. I’m still kind of new at this, but when I can fit into pants that have been hanging in the closet, waiting for me to wear them again, I can see how far I’ve come. I still have clothes I want to wear again soon, and I still have some pounds to lose. But I’m on the right track and am focused on my goals. Overcoming a bad relationship with food is like an alcoholic getting sober. At least I think so. I can’t speak from experience as an alcoholic, but like any bad habit, changing how I eat has been difficult. Most times I like it. Sometimes I hate it. It’s time consuming to make all your own food. It’s expensive to opt for organic produce. People have tried to sabotage my efforts, including my “diet buddy” who, not being successful, wants to bring me down with her. It’s hard to say no. But I’m learning.