catheroominations

January 22, 2007

Back where it belongs

2007.01.17

My engagement ring is back on my finger. For two weeks, it was not. I left it in Wisconsin. No, I’m not a forgetful idiot, I left it there on purpose so that a jeweler there could design a wedding band to go with it. But last week, we got it back, along with a wax version of a possible band design.

While my finger was naked, I was more focused in general, not having the shiny thing to distract me. But I missed the constant reminder of what it symbolizes because when I look at it, the “oooh! sparkly!” reaction is instantly replaced by a sense of calm.

In the dark, dreary days of singlehood, when I had no prospects at all (just too many bad first dates), I used to joke that by the time I got married, I would need a walker to assist me down the aisle, due to my advanced age. My walker would have those fuzzy tennis balls on the front, that would be coordinated to my color scheme (Pepto-Bismol pink, I’m guessing). My flower girl would be my friend’s then 40-year old daughter. At first glance, the photo of me and my groom at the altar-type place would seem to have a sea of Q-Tips in the background. Upon closer inspection, those cotton swabs would slowly come into focus and my friends would appear, my white-haired friends. The caterer would serve soft food at the reception, because the guests would have long ago lost their teeth. The music would be The Best of Lawrence Welk, and the drink of choice? Prune juice, of course. Must stay regular.

But, if all goes according to plan, none of what I just described will be part of my wedding in May.

Seriously though, when I look at this symbol Matte put on my finger in front of Cinderella’s castle, I realize how lucky I am. I know it sounds cliché and corny, but I am. Lucky. Lucky that I found him…or…that my friend Krissy and her good friend Alyssa figured out that he and I would be good for each other. I’m in awe sometimes, because Matte doesn’t run, when others did. He doesn’t yell at me, when others did. In fact, he doesn’t really yell. Ever. He has the patience of a monk. (OK, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But the dude is way patient.) I have never wondered how he feels about me (not even in the early days of dating), or worried that he’ll eventually tire of me. He’s honest to a fault (and will tell me if my ass looks big in these pants, but only if they make my ass look really, really fat). Being with him is so unbelievably drama-free and right, and easy after way too many years of not easy.

So yes, I’m glad my ring made it home to me, safe and sound. I’m glad a delivery man didn’t run off with the package, purposely not marked JEWELRY: HANDLE WITH CARE. LOSE IT AND DIE. Nor did he leave it on my porch for an unsavory neighbor to purloin. The box didn’t wind up on a deserted island, its precious contents serving as Tom Hanks’ glass cutter.

Had this beautifully crafted piece of jewelry gotten lost somewhere between America’s Dairyland and the place where Happy Cows live, Matte and I would still be together, and our relationship would not change. And even though I don’t need something to remind me of Matte or the love I have for him, the ring connects us.

In a few short months, Matte will experience this same connection when I put a band on his finger. It just feels…nice.

8 people have roominated about “Back where it belongs”

  • Alison says:

    Mmm. Very nicely written.

  • music_mama says:

    You are such a great writer. So happy for you 🙂

  • Jeff's Place says:

    It is awesome that you guys have connected thet way that you have, WTG!
    When I told Liz that you had found your Mr. Right, she said,
    “That is so cool She deserves it so much. She is just a sweet person.”
    The interactions that I have had with you and then reading your blog I must say that I concur!
    Way to go Guys!

    My you be as happy, or more happy than we are, and by the time you say, I will or I Do, we will have celebrated 14 years. 🙂

    Jeff

  • Saj says:

    I’m still amazed when I read about my brother through your eyes/words! I’ve always been one of his biggest fans, but you are truly his biggest and best!
    He definitely got more patience than me, but sometimes I wonder where it came from… 🙂
    I was wondering when the ring would return to you, but I knew I could trust Ruth to do it right. I’m glad it’s back where it belongs!

  • Carmi says:

    When I look at my wife’s engagement ring, I’m taken back to the moment when I picked out the stone, sketched the band, and worked with the jeweller to help turn it into reality.

    It cost me an astounding amount of money. But how can you quibble over mere dollars when someone like her is quite simply priceless? I would have gotten an even nicer ring if I could have afforded it at the time.

    How heartening to read your words.

  • Moose says:

    Oh! I feel your pain. (Well, previous pain.) I left my favorite (though non-expensive and non-Hey my fiance gave this to me, maybe I should keep it!) ring on the sink at work yesterday. It’s now gone. Sigh.

    P.S. I adore your masthead. : )

  • Sarah says:

    That is one beautiful ring! Envy!

roominate on this yourself